Inside Florida Puppeteer Robert Brown’s Alleged Plans to Eat Children

Our Miami compatriots told you yesterday about Robert Brown, the Tampa children’s entertainer arrested this week on charges he was planning on kidnapping a child to rape, murder, and eat him — quite literally the stuff of nightmares.He claims it was all just fantasy — which, though it’s unseemly, would…

South Florida Seniors Comment on Pot Use, Are Hilarious

We told you a few weeks ago about South Florida activist Robert Platshorn, who is raising money to put out hundreds of informercials informing senior citizens about how weed is, like, so good for you. He says the senior demographic is key to the legalization movement, and his Kickstarter is…

Sally Ride Dead of Pancreatic Cancer at 61

Former astronaut Sally Ride, the first American woman in space, died of cancer today at the age of 61, according to her organization’s website, which has since crashed.Born in Los Angeles, Ride earned multiple degrees in physics and English from Stanford in the late ’70s, which is also when she…

Prosecutors Try to Gag Woman Accusing Jennifer Carroll of Saucy Capitol Affairs

See also: Jennifer Carroll Lesbian Fling Case: Five of the Weirdest Unanswered Questions.Carletha Cole has not been shy about her accusations against Lt. Gov. Jennifer Carroll regarding Carroll’s alleged lesbian rendezvous with aide Bibi Ramos — but now prosecutors are saying she’s gotta shut up.”Attorneys for the defendant have spoken…

Two Doctors Charged in Overdose Deaths From Broward Pill Mills

See also: Chris and Jeff George’s Pill Mill Operation: Your Pulp Reader.Two doctors who prescribed pills at the South Florida pain clinics of Chris and Jeff George have been charged with dealing the drugs that played a role in the deaths of nine patients. They were originally indicted (with 30…

Mandy Dawson Gets Six Months for Tax Evasion

Though former Fort Lauderdale legislator Mandy Dawson said in April that “no different than any other person walking the streets of America” with tax problems, she’s certainly different from people walking the streets now: She’ll be locked up.Dawson was sentenced to six months in prison today after pleading guilty in April…

Denver Movie Theater Shooting: Why The Dark Knight Rises Is Ruined

If you somehow haven’t heard, 12 people were killed last night at a midnight showing of The Dark Knight Rises in Aurora, Colorado, just outside of Denver. Forty other people are estimated to have been wounded, and nobody knows why. Much will be written about the victims, though probably less…

Connie Mack Is Just Openly Insulting, Grabbing Reporters Now (Video)

Another chapter has been written in Rep. Connie Mack’s devolution from a lackluster congressman into a sneering, whining toadstool of a Senate candidate, and it’s a stupid one. It started, more or less, back in April, when Mack’s father, former Sen. Connie Mack III, wrote a letter to the Tampa…

Googly Eyed Lady Wanted in West Palm Bank Fraud

Do you recognize this woman? Have you worked with her? Has one of her large, bulgy eyeballs brushed against you at a bus stop? The Palm Beach Sheriff’s Office is looking for her, because they say a car was burglarized and she committed check fraud using the person’s identity…

Should Grandma Smoke Pot? Former Drug Runner Making an Infomercial

West Palm Beach activist (and convicted drug-runner) Robert Platshorn wants to get marijuana legalized, and he says the key to doing it is simple: old people. He’s been traveling extensively and giving talks to senior citizens as part of his “Silver Tour,” which he launched in 2010 to reach out…