They don't call the Scuba Club a "country club for divers" for nothing. It may not boast a croquet lawn or polo grounds, but it does feature a swimming pool, a deep tank, classrooms, locker rooms, a boat dock, a gear shop, a photo lab, a picnic area, a one-bedroom hotel suite, and even a steam room, all on site. And yet, you don't have to be Thurston Howell III to sample these lovely amenities; mere mortals can go to scuba camp (classroom instruction, pool work, and five ocean dives) for a totally affordable $300. Weekend boat trips are just $35. Not to mention, the Scuba Club employs the most capable staff around. Why, J.D. has a degree in diving; Ernie can "put a radiator in a BMW faster than most people eat lunch," and Wayne has been bringing novices back from the deep safely for ages and ages. (I swear, he pulled me from the jaws of a sea wombat in 1997!) If only they had a couple of cabana boys who'd go around with trays serving après-dive cocktails... What's that, Ernie? You're working on it?