Sorry, Jungle Queen, but Bluefoot Pirate Adventures has become the must-do attraction in Fort Lauderdale. Captain Black Sparrow meets families at the dock by Bahia Mar and hooks them up with pirate vests, face paint, eye patches, and swords. Then they hit the water for a cool trip down the Intracoastal Waterway, Sparrow narrating — and sneaking in some adult jokes — while a superfriendly lady pirate, Black Rose, entertains the kids. The fun of blasting water cannons is superseded only by blasting them at a terrible pirate who — surprise! — ambushes the ship in his own boat. The 90-minute ride goes by too quickly, but you can use the picnic tables under a tent for cutting birthday cake or walk across the street to Fort Lauderdale Beach, where a playground is conveniently located. If you're stressing about whether to invite just a few people at $25 per or rent out the whole boat for your party, we say just bite the $600 bullet and fill 'er up. Your kid will remember this one forever, and it's amaaaazing how suddenly those aunts and uncles who dread kids' birthday parties are suddenly clamoring to get on your guest list.