Cheetah Hallandale Beach

Lady goes through a rough breakup. Where does she take her girls? To Cheetah, for a divorce party. Rough day at work. Where do bros go to vent? Cheetah. Dennis Rodman comes back from North Korea, gets swarmed by annoying media types. Where does he duck for cover? Thazz right — Cheetah. Each of South Florida's nudie bars has its special place in the strip-club pantheon: Some are durrty, some are clubby, some are known for Octomom appearances, and some go for the upscale-steak-house vibe. But it's Cheetah that's the most comfy, low-pretense, and accessible, like your neighborhood bar, or hell, like your own living room, complete with Xboxes, poker games, and cigars. And with $6 omelets, a happy hour that lasts from 11:30 a.m. to 6 p.m., free lunch, and smoking-hot, superfun chicks who will entertain your girlfriend with a lap dance while you eat your cheese steak, really — why ever bother going home?

Gulfstream Park Racing & Casino
Courtesy of Gulfstream Park

To a true gambler, the best casino is the one where you win. A dirty back alley where you roll only sevens will always have a fond place in your heart, and if you go bust in a luxurious palace, you will never wish to return no matter how fine the Champagne they comp might be. But if you're going to spend serious time at the slots or the poker table, better to do it in a hygienic location, and since the 2006 renovation, no casino is less seedy than Gulfstream Park. The racetrack, which in February marked its 75th year, continues to be a pleasant place to make a wager. The poker room is pristine, and the hundreds of slots are in a smoke-free environment. There are plenty of shops, bars, and restaurants to spend your winnings in, and if your bankroll is low, watching the horses run won't cost you a dime — though the $2 bets will tempt you.

Mystic Water Kava Bar

This hideaway in Hollywood would also win Likeliest Place to Spy a Hobbit. With its décor that emulates Middle Earth with the faux trees, dark lighting, and heavy tables, one could easily expect Frodo or Gandalf to sit next to you. Perhaps after a shot of the earthy-tasting house-brewed kava tea — served in a coconut shell with a chaser of wedges of pineapple — one might even see Bilbo or Gollum dancing in front of you, as the completely legal Polynesian brew has sedative and anesthetic effects. One shot goes for $5.50 while the flavored kava — whose flavors change by the day, from ginger to chocolate coconut to honey cinnamon and beyond — is $7.50. If the kava doesn't give you trippy sensations, Mystic Water Kava Bar's atmosphere and music, whether by DJ or occasional live band, definitely will. Bargain hunters will be happy to know that every weekday from 2 to 7 p.m. features a happy hour with a two-for-one special. Night owls will be even happier, as the bar serves kava seven days a week until 4 a.m.

Yellow Green Farmers Market
Courtesy of Yellow Green Farmers Market

You'd think with our year-round growing season, there would be year-round farmers' markets, but many Florida markets are seasonal. Yellow-Green Farmers Market is one of the few permanent, year-round markets. It even has the added benefit of being under a roof, for those rainy or too, too sunny summer days. Located off of Taft Street near I-95, there are more than 300 booths in the 100,000-square-foot facility. You'll find copious amounts of all the usual greenmarket fare, from fresh produce to artisanal jams to stone crab legs as well as arts and crafts. There's also the Chillbar lounge, which is open on weekends and serves a wide selection of fresh and organic home-cooked fare.

Third time was a charm for Cas Tannenbaum's annual movement arts extravaganza and open-air carnival. Grounded in a philosophy that seeks the state of "flow" — defined as "an exhilarating transcendent way of being in which effortless control and peak skill seem to erase a sense of time" — this year's Flow Fest drew the greatest number yet of acrobatic adepts offering the widest variety of performances: hoops, juggling, fire dance, belly dance, yoga, break dancing, capoeira. It stretched over three days of workshops, and play lasted well into the evening, the better to take in the blazing, twisting, turning array. Darkening skies along the Intracoastal Waterway became an Arabian Nights fantasy, full of fit and youthful forms, in clothes variously medieval, thrift-shop, or psychedelic homespun, capering across the lawn with grace and precision, a temporary village of the body electric. Listen hard enough and you can still hear the temple bells.

Since 1990, Sun Sentinel sports columnist Dave Hyde has seen you through the good and bad of South Florida sports. From the births of the Florida Marlins and the Florida Panthers in the early '90s to the Miami Heat's back-to-back championships, sure as the sun rises, Hyde has been there to cover them. Before Twitter and Facebook dominated up-to-the-second sports news, Hyde's columns in your morning paper provided your daily fix of sports tidbits. The way you consume sports news may have drastically changed over the past 24 years, but Hyde is still the supplier. Reading his columns is actually comforting: You feel like he understands where the local fan sits on certain issues, because you've grown up together in this market. In a place where almost everyone is a transplant, only a few things feel homegrown in South Florida. Dave Hyde's Sun Sentinel sports coverage is one.

You need your South Florida news, and you need it from a reliable source. So when co-anchor Jawan Strader dispatches teases for his morning newscast on Twitter, you pay attention. "Fans waiting for Justin Bieber to show up in a Miami courtroom in case against his security guard," he alerts you. "Hazmat situation at JMH after shooting involving a party bus," he declares. And when he promises "a look at a stripper at a nursing home that has residents upset," you damn sure flip on the tube — even though it's only between 5 and 7 a.m. The lovable man and his sexy dimples give you the important info you need to tackle the day ahead, and that's why on National Hug Your Newsman Day (April 4), he's the one who gets all the shoutouts.

The admittedly worse half of 790 The Ticket's Dan LeBatard Show — Jon "Stugotz" Weiner — grows on you, mainly because he is you. Weekdays from 3 to 7 p.m., Stugotz perfectly plays the yin to Dan LeBatard's yang, consistently countering his well-spoken cohost's thought-provoking views on various subjects with his caveman-like hot-sports-take, emotion-filled contributions. While LeBatard is taking apart a sport topic to see its innards in order to better understand it, Stugotz routinely lays quick justice on the same matter with swift to-the-point judgments like, "They need to zip it up!" The two polar-opposite approaches blend perfectly, creating a wildly entertaining and unique four hours of radio. Self-deprecating humor mixed with the unapologetic stances Stugotz brings to the table are a major part in making the show so successful. Frequently, a topic on the show will become more about how "The Stugotz" is reacting to it than the actual subject itself. Part of the fun for listeners is waiting for those gems, knowing that the mispronunciation of a word like "anonymity" is surely on its way, and it'll be hilarious. Whether you are laughing at him or with him, all that really matters is that you are laughing.

Joy Taylor has had one hell of a year. After being added to 790-AM The Ticket and the 104.3-FM Zaslow Show radio show as a producer, Taylor moved into a more prominent cohost spot when Marc Hochman left for 560 WQAM — the moved has turned out to be a real success. Not only are new, young, fresh voices a rarity on AM sports radio but a female voice is even rarer, and you forget she is any of those much-needed things when she is on-air, mainly because she knows her shit. Joy, sister of Miami great Jason Taylor, has skyrocketed onto the sports-media scene this year. Different isn't always accepted right away, even less so in an industry dominated by belching, chicken-wing-inhaling males, but Taylor has been a welcomed breath of fresh air.

Some FM personalities like the sound of their own voices a bit too much. Others try too hard to be funny. And yet others are constantly talking over your favorite song. But then there's a guy like Doc Reno, who spins the black circle at Big 105.9 in the afternoons and then again during the red eye between midnight and 6 a.m. Doc's got a classic-rock vibe with a frat-boy sensibility, the kind of DJ you'd want to share a beer with. Reno is engaging enough to make you dig his style when he's playing your favorite Aerosmith song and funny enough to keep you listening. Always quick with a joke and always up on the crazy news stories from around the country that he constantly updates on his blog, Doc Reno doesn't get in the way of the music, which is all you really ask of an FM personality. 

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