Cover your stump before you hump. When in doubt, shroud your spout. It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter. Wrap it in foil before you check her oil. Sex is cleaner with a packaged wiener. House your noodle before releasing your strudel. Shelter your jerky, then nab that turkey. Can your worm before you squirm. Cover your diddle, then fiddle her middle. In case you're still not getting it: Wear a condom. Seriously, why wouldn't you? In this contagious era we live in, it's insane not to wrap it up. And thanks to places like Condom World Gift Shop, you can stay safe while still having fun. From big to small, from glow-in-the-dark to flavored, you don't even need a partner to have fun with condoms anymore. Hell, just open up a pack, turn off the lights, and let out your inner child. Sorry, Slinky. You've been replaced as America's favorite toy.