Let's face it. Your son's little league team sucks. The outfield won't stop picking their butts long enough to catch a pop fly, and your pitcher throws like a tired vegetarian. It's OK. Not everyone is meant to be an athlete. But just because they can't win like champions doesn't mean they can't eat like them. Every kid deserves a hamburger after a baseball game, even if that kid spent the entire game befriending ants at shortstop. And there's no better place to eat away the sorrows of loss than Jack's Old Fashion Hamburger House. Since 1972, Jack's has been providing milk shakes to the athletically challenged and turning their heads when frustrated coaches slip a little vodka into their own shakes. And at $5.65 for a half-pound burger, you'll still have money left over for the end-of-season pity trophies. You know, those really generic ones that say things like "Best Use of Lungs" and "Most Enthusiastic"? And, like all good "sad food," it's delicious and greasy. Just about good enough to make you forget that your son is never going to be Derek Jeter.