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Best Place to Meet Intelligent Women

Tate's Comics

Tate's Comics

Who's to say that mastering quantum physics or molecular biology is any better a measure of intelligence than slaying D&D monsters or naming all the planets in the Star Wars solar system? At Tate's Comics one scores IQ points for these latter bits of esoteric knowledge, and one can also score a phone number. That's the object of Geek Singles Night, an event launched this year with the help of a flyer that shows Captain Kirk locking lips with Princess Leia. The boldest geeks go through a gauntlet of speed dating booths, where future sweethearts can compare comic book collections. More bashful geeks might prefer to take up a game of Jenga or challenge a rival to a light saber duel. Also, there's beer — because geeks need social lubricants, too.

Best Place to Meet Single Gay Men

Stork's

Stork's is not a bar, and that simple fact is a big part of the reason Stork's is the best place in three counties for chatting up single gay guys. Bars are oppressively loud places where the getting-to-know-you chitchat constitutes gesturing at a stranger in such a way that he knows when to meet you at which bathroom stall. Stork's, on the other hand, is a lively little coffee shop and bakery where the chatter is buoyant but soft. Anyway, lattes make for friendlier conversation than liquor. Drunks are obnoxious.

Best Place to Meet Single Lesbians

Stork's

Stork's again! Unlike most queer joints, Stork's has a poly-chromosomal clientele, and everybody's better for it. Viva la difference.

Best Place to Meet Single Men

World Adult Kickball Association

There are dueling theories about the best ways to meet single men. One is to hit a bar with a busy ladies' night; where the bait is, the sharks will follow. The problem that way is that you can run into too much scantily-dressed competition and the boys tend to behave like they're in a who's-got-the-crispest-striped-button-down-shirt contest. The other way is to hunt the prey on their turf. But sometimes dudes can't divert their eyes from the game and a plate of wings, and it's hard to sneak into the Marlins locker room. You need a place where you can get to know people in a group setting, relieved of the one-on-one pressure of dating; a place where you don't have to dress like a slut and can just stick your hair in a ponytail; a place where getting drunk isn't a prerequisite, although it's an option. You need a place reminiscent of high school. Here's a secret: The World Kickball Association has very little to do with kickball and a whole lot to do with guys wanting to flaunt their athletic prowess while watching you run around in knee socks. And they have nine divisions in Broward and Palm Beach counties.

Best Place to Meet Single Women... If You're Broke

Volunteer Broward

So you don't have a girlfriend or a career? Then the one thing you do have is time, so why not put it toward a pursuit with some social value, especially if could help end your loveless streak? Volunteer Broward acts as a broker, connecting its deep pool of active do-gooders with roughly 600 nonprofits who depend on free labor to serve the community. The women you'll encounter here are totally unlike the ones who shot you down at the bar. Plus, when you're toiling side by side, ladling chicken soup for the unwashed masses, there's no need to coin the perfect pick-up line. Chances are you've already impressed her just by showing up.

Best Place To Meet Single Women... If You're Rich

Riley McDermott's

They begin to appear around nightfall at Riley McDermott's Las Olas entrance, a long line of unescorted knockouts, streaming through the door and across the restaurant's glossy floor in high heels and low necklines, like models in a runway show. Soon their curving figures will line the glowing turquoise bar, perfectly coiffed heads all swiveling in the direction of a passing man's bulge — the wallet, of course. Because these ladies didn't bring a purse, and in such skimpy ensembles there's hardly room for a pocket. So buy a drink for her and her friends. Complain about the market, and remember to scratch your chin with the left hand, slowly, so she can read the word "Rolex." Soon that yacht won't be so lonely.

Best Place to Play Pool

Corner Pocket Billiards

Tired of scratching in your quest for a spot to play some serious pool? Chalk that cue and head to Corner Pocket Billiards on Oakland Park Boulevard. The place boasts 10 pool tables and three billiards tables, beer, wine, and cheap rates and specials. It' s spacious, clean, and well-lit, and the professional tables have plenty of room between them for pool sharks to circle. On a weekday afternoon, Corner Pocket is a great place to pick up a trick or two from the scores of old gentlemen who look like they know what they're doing, but any time is a good time to have a drink, flaunt your jargon, and play a few games to try to prove you're the best ball-breaker in town.

Best Poolside Bar

Cascades

The poolside bar might be one of the greatest inventions ever — what better place to imbibe than with the dripping wet and scantily clad? And there's something sexy, seductive, and sneaky about invading high-class resorts for an afternoon of luxury. As poolside bars go, Cascades is all that and a bag of chips. Chill with half-naked tourists around a massive pool, groove to island music while bartenders whip up strong concoctions, or grab a table on the boardwalk and enjoy a stunning ocean view. The bar also serves burgers and salads to enjoy alongside your fruity umbrella drink. Treat yourself to poolside margaritas and enjoy eyeful after spectacular eyeful of beach and bikini. You'll never go back to your neighborhood dive.

Best Poured Guinness

Maguire's Hill 16

A pint of Guinness should be a little shorter and a little thicker than your forearm. If you're in England, it should be a little cooler than room temperature. In America it should be much colder, but still a little warmer than the other beers at the table. The beer should not appear creamy — the foam and the brew should be cleanly separated, with the foam forming a neat little corona, a little over an inch thick, at the very top of the glass. It is acceptable if some of this stuff should ooze over the glass's edge and soak your napkin. This is a sign of bounty, and it should be appreciated. In our experience, nobody can pour a Guinness as quickly, consistently, and perfectly as the fine folks at Maguire's.

Best Rock Club

Culture Room

Photo by Monica McGivern

It's hot, loud, and way too crowded. But would you expect anything less from a rock club? The Culture Room books an eclectic mix of bands. On any given week they might have David Allan Coe, the Misfits, Johnny Winter, a local group of hardcore rockers, and northern Europe's meanest-sounding death metal makers. What sets the Culture Room apart from the other hot and sweaty clubs around, though, isn't necessarily what goes on atop the large stage; it's the nice, refreshing atmosphere just outside the main concert room. If you don't care so much about seeing your favorite rock stars up close, in the flesh, you can still rock out a few feet away, under the beautiful Florida sky — and watch a video projection of the show while you sip a beer. Or if you're really hardcore, as you pound Jägermeister and break the bottle over your own head.

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