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Best Happy Hour

Bahia Cabana Beach Resort

Kristin Bjornsen

Finding a happy-hour spot in Fort Lauderdale is about as easy as spotting a guy wearing Ed Hardy. You just have to open your eyes. However, many of the happy-hour specials don't get started until after the workday, and what fun is that? So for those who live by the motto "It's 5 o'clock somewhere," Bahia Cabana is the happy-hour destination for you. Kicking off at the crack of dawn, it has not one, not two but three happy hours a day — 7 to 11 a.m., 4 to 7 p.m., and after 10 p.m. During the morning and afternoon, all drinks are a dollar off. Two-for-one piña coladas and rum runners start after 10 p.m. Added bonus: If you're not stumbling too much, enjoy the rest of happy hour in the pool. Don't worry about driving home either; Bahia Cabana is a stop on the Water Taxi circuit, making this happy-hour extravaganza safer than the rest.

Best Sports Bar

Duffy's Sports Grill

Here's what a sports fan wants — nay, needs — in a good sports bar: good food, reasonably priced alcohol, plenty of screen visibility, and a crowd that doesn't make the entire thing painful. It sounds like a simple formula, but it's almost never done right. Duffy's, a Florida-based chain of fan-friendly bar and grills, is catching on, though. The location just off SE 17th Street in Fort Lauderdale, in a building that used to house a steak joint, features a bar surrounded by giant flat screens hanging overhead like glowing altars to gods of sport. The menu is also diverse, with everything from glazed ribs to burgers to decadent nachos to goat cheese salads. And the regulars are generally above drunken obnoxiousness but not above giving a stranger a high-five when the home team scores.

Best Pompano Beach Neighborhood Bar

Yak-Zies

To find yourself a badass neighborhood bar, you need only employ the bar checklist: Ambiance, Bartender, Cocktails, Distraction (ABCD).

Good ambiance, check: The walls of Yak-Zies are covered with neatly arranged photos of local dogs (the late Missy was rumored to prefer Miller beer), Norman Rockwell prints, and humor posters — the Three Stooges get an entire wall to themselves. Nice bartenders, check: Don, who looks like a reject from a glam metal band, is a sweetheart who dishes up quick drinks and corny jokes ("This place is like aisle nine at Winn-Dixie — mixed nuts," he's fond of saying). Cheap cocktails, check: Two-for-one happy hours provide all the flowing liquor you could require. Distraction from your boring life, check: a charming waterfront view, fun locals, and frequent (and well-frequented) karaoke nights. Bonus: Check out the nudie pics in the bathrooms. If you use the happy hour (see "cheap cocktails") like you should, you'll be spending some time in there.

Best Hookah Bar

The Funky Buddha Lounge & Brewery

You might not know the Funky Buddha. He is not much like his brother, the Buddha. While the Buddha enjoys being enlightened, the Funky Buddha enjoys sucking down double-apple-flavored smoke. The Buddha enjoys spirituality; the Funky Buddha is mostly interested in drinking fancy craft beers, downing kava, and listening to an acoustic version of "Bad Romance," jokes about masturbation, or whatever else might come up on open-mic night. Yeah, the Funky Buddha is a tiny bit cooler.

Best Low-Rent Bar

The Duck Tavern

The letters that spell out The Duck above the doorway to this neighborhood joint sit slightly askew, as if they were alphabet magnets stuck haphazardly to the refrigerator by a toddler's chubby hand. Inside, you'll find the usual suspects — groups of college-aged men throwing darts, a handful of focused drinkers with elbows propped on the polished bar top and eyes pointed at a TV screen or into a drink, a couple sharing a basket of wings. Nothing particularly remarkable about any of it, really, but then — that's kind of the point. In South Florida — a place flush with doormen, valet parking, and a palpable desire to impress — the Duck is an oasis of nonpretense and exceptionally strong cocktails that won't set you back a quarter of your daily earnings.

Best Cultural Turnaround

Green Room

Our tale started a few months ago, when we marched right into downtown Fort Lauderdale, demanding to dance. At the first dance floor we tried, napkins littered the ground, '90s hip-hop blasted out of the speakers, and the lighting made us feel like we were dancing at high noon. No, thank you, America's Backyard. We then strolled down Second Street, perked our ears at each door, and... next, next, next. Finally, we heard "Stayin' Alive," so we strutted inside, but that pitch-black dance floor was... dead. No, thank you, Tarpon Bend. What were we to do? We then traveled down SW Third Avenue — past VooDoo — and entered the Green Room. It was a sleek, dark, sexy venue — and full of dancing vixens, the indie kids that never made it to this side of downtown. Sure, Green Room still had the same owner — back when it was... sorry, I'm drawing a blank. Well, the owner is also the man also who runs Revolution Live and America's Backyard. But "Green Room" has a new "identity" and hosts a killer dance party called "Digital Love Thursday," when resident DJs Andie Sweetswirl and Mig play a cocktail of '80s, indie rock, electro, and dance gems. Eighteen-and-over are welcome to shake, but only those 21 and over can enjoy the $2 PBRs and $5 Jack Daniels shots all night.

Best Bar for Philly Transplants

The Hurricane Bar & Lounge

There are plenty of places in South Florida that cater to the home team and an exorbitant number of dives that welcome fans of Northeast teams like the Giants, Jets, and even Patriots, but where is a die-hard "Iggles" fan to go? With its tropical-storm-system moniker and nautical interior, Delray Beach's Hurricane Bar & Lounge isn't the most obvious of choices for an ex-resident of the City of Brotherly Love to take in a sports game. Heck, even its nondescript locale — on the backside of an Atlantic Avenue shopping plaza — isn't the easiest to find. But those Philly fans who are lucky enough to arrive here on football "Sundy" will discover a welcoming environment that celebrates all things Eagles, Phillies, and Flyers. They will feel very cozy in its modest-sized confines with its tiki-themed outside patio and take comfort in its cheap drinks and multitude of like-minded aficionados sporting their green-and-white jerseys, yelling various expletives at the referees projected on the multitude of screens. Warning to everyone else: Don't even think about coming inside here in a Santa suit.

Best Bar to Take Out-of-Towners

The Wreck Bar Mermaid Show

"What's a mermaid show? Like, she has a tail — and she's underwater?" your friends from a boring state far away where the sun isn't always shining will ask, a bit skeptical of your plan. At this point, you'll have some explaining to do on your way to Wreck Bar, the shipwreck-style dark wooden bar with wide windows looking into the Sheraton's pool. Before the half-hour show begins, you can see, from the neck down, not-so-fit patrons bobbing along, an impromptu warm-up of humor. Soon they will be replaced by svelte, tailed women. The mermaids, with long hair and angelic underwater choreography, peek through the panoramic rope-framed windows. They move like belly-dancing flounders and flirt with patrons they undoubtedly can't see with eyes open in the chlorinated pool. Now your vacationing friends will wonder if one of the mermaids just blew a kiss their way. Yes, she did, you'll say, and remind them that you can't get this up North.

Best Poolside Bar

Deenie's Hideaway

So often your fantasies involving poolside playtime, alcoholic bliss, and barely clothed hotties don't turn out so well: You arrive on the scene only to find out that the daiquiri-vending bar has closed early and the local grannies are working on their water aerobics. Fortunately, Deenie's will never let you down. Yeah, you have to pay a member's fee and it's BYOB, but they provide the mixers, the pool, the Sunday-afternoon BBQ, the impromptu volleyball match, and, oh yeah, scores of naked, surgically enhanced sunbathers. And when you get sick of the naked pool party (like you ever could), you can always go back to the indoor bar and watch porn.

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