It took the Miami Heat all of four games to take down the Washington Wizards and wrap up the Eastern Conference Semifinals. The conference finals, however, have proven more difficult, as the Heat lost game 1 to the Detroit Pistons before winning the next two. There's a pattern here, one that's linked intrinsically to Dwyane Wade. The Heat wonderboy topped the charts for points scored in May -- except for that damned game 1, in which he seemingly snoozed his way through his team's 81-90 loss. The Heat's high scorer that game was Eddie Jones, with 22 points; that's 18 fewer than Wade scored in game 2 and 14 fewer than in game 3. So let's hope Wade eats his Wheaties tonight; it might be our only hope. The game starts at 8 p.m. at American Airlines Arena (601 Biscayne Blvd., Miami). Call 866-777-HOOP, or visit www.miamiheat.com. (JB)
FRI 3
All right, so you like murder-filled tales of people trapped in giant, isolated buildings but feel squeamish at the thought of cannibalism and self-mutilation. That rules out going to the Chuck Palahniuk reading. But as coincidence would have it, there's a gore-free alternative -- Something's Afoot at the Lake Worth Playhouse (713 Lake Ave., Lake Worth). A lighthearted satire mimicking the Agatha Christie-style murder mystery, Something's Afoot is set in the English countryside, where ten people are stuck inside a house, trapped by a nasty thunderstorm. Power outages are the least of their worries; a deviously crafty killer has made contraptions that do all the dirty work. So relax and enjoy your dinner; you'll only have to taste it once. Tonight's performance begins at 8. The play runs through June 19. Tickets cost $20 to $25. Call 561-586-6410. (JB)
SAT 4
Have you ever sat there, flipping through the latest copy of Star magazine, and asked yourself, "Self, wouldn't it be great if there were a magazine geared toward the young intellectual?" Oh, you thought Star magazine was geared toward the young intellectual? They do have a crossword in the back, but... no. Here to save the day is Citizen Culture, a magazine that, in one single issue, might include an interview with Bill Maher, a photo essay featuring the women of Ciudad Juarez, Mexico, a first-hand account of what it's like to be an American Muslim, and a prosaic ode to the tamarind (a mighty substitute for lime). It launched last year as an Internet-only publication; now it's going on paper. Celebrate the preservation of your gray matter during the Citizen Culture launch party at Sonar (2006 Hollywood Blvd., Hollywood). Artist Joseph Lawrence Vasile designed the February cover, and he'll host the party, along with a display of his work (mostly celebrity portraits). Call 954-920-8777, or visit www.sonarniteclub.com. (DF)
SUN 5
We recently discovered zouk, a type of music that originated in the Caribbean islands of Guadeloupe and Martinique circa 1979. Not only does the word zouk mean party in Creole but the music also has a special dance that goes with it. Called zouklove, this shimmy kind of resembles the lambada. Go ahead, call us brilliant -- all of these clues lead us to believe that there are some real good times under way during Zouk Sundays at Club Boca (7000 W. Palmetto Park Rd., Boca Raton). Parties last from 10 p.m. to 4 a.m. and cost $10. Dress sharp! Call 561-392-3747. (DF)
MON 6
Were this sentence typed in all caps, you'd have no idea which movie -- SubUrbia or Suburbia -- is showing tonight at the Rose and Crown Pub. So pay attention; it's the latter -- Penelope Spheeris' cult classic about wayward punk rockers in the early '80s (the former being an adaptation of the Eric Bogosian book). This begs the obvious question: Why is this being shown at a bar? Well, that's because of Rocket Mondays, the latest rock 'n' roll party to give weeknight boredom a good kick in the ass. But this ain't no low-key movie night; DJ Adam Wrong spins all flavors of rock inside the lounge, while the back patio is home to first-wave ska and reggae DJs. At midnight, the Hooples provide the live soundtrack in the main room. The party starts at 11 p.m. and costs $2 in advance, $4 at the door. The Rose and Crown Pub is located at 3680 W. Commercial Blvd., Tamarac. Call 954-731-6245, or visit www.myspace.com/rocketmondays. (JB)
TUE 7
What happens when a band from the Palmetto State (South Carolina) invades the Palmetto Bug State (Florida)? Find out when burly rockers Crossfade come to Revolution (200 W. Broward Blvd., Fort Lauderdale) tonight. For its major-label debut, also called Crossfade, the band full of tank-topped men took the rage-rock formula, plugged in a turntable and a sampler, and let producer Randy Staub (whose credits include Nickelback, P.O.D., the Cult, Monster Magnet, and Metallica) make the tracks glossy... yet crunchy. Kind of like a candy-coated palmetto bug. Says their website, "Crossfade's signature sound is both fierce and melodic -- heavy and muscular hard rock infused with deeply felt lyrics." We think you know what to expect. Tickets cost $20, and doors open at 6:30 p.m. Visit www.jointherevolution.net. (DF)
WED 8
The small performance area inside the Lounge (517 Clematis St., West Palm Beach) is usually occupied by midtempo bands that don't turn it up much past seven, let alone anywhere near ten. So let's hope a fuse doesn't blow tonight as the Sloppy High-Fives rumble through a set of high-speed, beer-stained rockers. Big on guitars and with a heavy nod to the Supersuckers and Turbonegro, these guys make the Hives sound like Herman's Hermits. When the 'Fives sing "Bring me that medicine" in the song "Established in 1874," you know they're not talking about TheraFlu. Hit the sauce with the guys tonight as part of "Wormhole Wednesdays." The free show starts at 9 p.m. Call 561-655-9747, or visit www.thewormhole.org. (JB)
