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It can't possibly be their fault, so don't blame the stars. In fact, give Lucie Arnaz and Elizabeth Ashley two points for doing everything humanly possible to try to make Ann & Debbie work. All their glamour, presence, acting and overacting, terrific timing, gorgeous legs, and distinctive voices, together with -- for all we know -- wishing, hoping, and praying still can't make Lionel Goldstein's mindless little skit pass for a real play. Harmless schlock just ain't what it used to be. Ann and Debbie are an odd couple who for years shared the love of Ann's husband, Jack, now deceased. On the eve of the reading of Jack's will, they meet at a hotel in Manhattan for a bout of that favorite Broadway pastime: truth-telling. They get drunk and drunker; they kvetch about the room; they go through their lives and then -- spoiler alert! -- they realize that sly old Jack probably had a third woman on the side somewhere. Maybe she'll be mentioned in the will. As Ann and Debbie go off to Jack's office to go through his papers and figure out who the floozy is, the curtain comes down. That's it. Never mind that one could see the single plot twist coming, that the friendship between the two women is not believable for a second, that the inelegant script is peppered with stuff like "between Jack and I,'' or that the whole affair just slogs along like a bad setup for a second act that never comes. (Through April 10 at Coconut Grove Playhouse, 3500 Main Hwy., Miami. Call 305-442-4000.)