What the trio of confrontations between George and John (no, not Harrison and Lennon) needed was mood music. Like when Bush suggested that college-educated men and women who can't find jobs should go back to elementary school, perhaps the Bob Dylan song "Positively 4th Street," with its end line "I wish that for just one time you could stand inside my shoes/You'd know what a drag it is to see you." For Kerry, maybe the sponsors could have cued up the Reuben Wilson song "Hold On! I'm Comin'." (C'mon, the horns on that song alone sound like a nuclear funk reactor exploding glitter and confetti.)
But anyway, there are more important issues at hand. Like, taking back our country from a bloodsucking jingo. Here, some local musicians sound off about why you should vote November 2:
Mr. Entertainment: "I don't want to tell anybody who to vote for, but I will tell them who not to vote for, and that is George W. Vote for anybody else, Martha Stewart if you like. If nobody votes for Georgie, he can't win. My prediction, though, is Bush will win, legally or illegally, and get assassinated by 2007."
Mishel Beebe, Ginger Snapped: "Vote for John Kerry! Forget what your parents told you. Times have changed, baby! You can make a difference, so get passionate about it and vote! No excuses. It is your right and your duty to speak out."
Rob Coe, the Enablers: "I equate the current Bush administration with an updated version of the Greek tragedy Oedipus Rex, in which the hero had attained his position through ill-gotten means and a plague was brought upon the land. It is hubris that allows the [president and Ol' Rex] to bring the respective kingdoms to the brink of catastrophe by refusing to assess their past follies. It is not until the end of the play that Oedipus realizes he has killed his father, has been sleeping with his mother, and so he blinds himself. Acknowledging that he is blind and that he can now see, he resigns himself to a life of poverty. In the same way, we have to gouge out Mr. Bush's so-called vision for America by voting in this current election. And hope that he goes broke right after he loses."
Zach Ziskin: "I don't consider myself a Democrat or Republican. If I had to classify myself, I'd probably be closer to Libertarian, fiscally conservative but socially liberal. However, this year, not only am I voting for John Kerry; I have volunteered on his behalf, because what George W. Bush and his administration have done to this country in the last four years is nothing short of horrific. Do I think John Kerry is the perfect answer? No, but at this point, I'd sooner choose a spider monkey than the current president. They say when you find yourself in a hole, stop digging. Well, that's the choice we have. We can choose to stop digging and begin to turn things around for the better economically, internationally, environmentally, and socially or we can choose to dig ourselves in deeper. I guess there is an upside; if we keep digging, at some point we'll hit China, and I hear that's where all the good jobs are going these days. Vote Kerry."
Mindy Hertzon, Secret P.E. Club: "The thought of ol' Bush-whacker having continued decision-making power regarding our national security, women's health issues, health insurance, education, the economy, the war... it's just frightening. I would like to be able to look forward to my future as an American, a woman, a potential mother one day, with hopeful eyes. You will thank yourself, and we can actually have a president who should be in office. For the love of God, people! Vote Kerry!"
Mike West, rapper: "This is the people's chance to voice their opinion on what they think and what they believe in. It's in the people to decide what goes and what stays in this country!"
Ryan Cacolici, Nag Champayons: "This election? Fucking tap-shoe candidates. A suite composed by the inebriated, wealth-drunk power men. The choreography of a thousand lost empires. A CEO death march. "Oh, heavy element!" Ginsberg once howled at White Sands plutonium facility during an antinuclear protest in the '70s. I've never been able to forget the fire in his voice. Destiny is laughing, 'cause fate don't care. Laughing at the debates, at the candidates. The reptilian overlord and his "opponent" spell out the same disasters -- dead humans, dead nations, dead Earth. We lack true leaders and progressive, revolutionary vision. But for the first time in my life, I will vote. I will stand for a man I've never met. I just hope that's enough. The change in president might not be as drastic as we need, but it is an essential step toward our future."