Final Fourth

Sooner or later, the impracticality of the Fourth of July is going to come crashing down, and America is going to lose one of its most revered pastimes: the ignition of dangerous explosives in close proximity to small children and stunted adults drinking too much booze. It will be a...

By John Linn

July 2, 2009

[
        {
          "name": "GPT - Billboard - Slot Inline - Content - Labeled - No Desktop",
          "component": "16971022",
          "insertPoint": "2",
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "2"
        },{
          "name": "Editor Picks",
          "component": "15769925",
          "insertPoint": "4",
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "1"
        },{
          "name": "Inline Links",
          "component": "16575154",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 8,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "7",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        },{
          "name": "GPT - Rectangle 2x - Slot Auto-select - Labeled",
          "component": "15782206",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 8,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "7",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        },{
          "name": "Inline Links",
          "component": "16575154",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 12,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "11",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        },{
          "name": "GPT - Leaderboard to Tower - Slot Auto-select - Labeled",
          "component": "15782207",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 12,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "11",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        }
      ]

Sooner or later, the impracticality of the Fourth of July is going to come crashing down, and America is going to lose one of its most revered pastimes: the ignition of dangerous explosives in close proximity to small children and stunted adults drinking too much booze. It will be a sad, sad day when the Department of Homeland Security and PETA get together to shut down “Blow-Your-Ass-to-Neptune Fireworks” and other comparable stands for good, sealing their contents up in the hole where Guantanamo Bay used to be. Then, the next closest thing to lighting off a pack of bottle rockets in your face will be watching Transformers 2 — though the risk of permanent brain damage will likely be greater. Until that fateful day, it’s best we take full advantage of the Fourth by blowing-shit-up and/or watching-shit-get-blowed-up.

Start by heading out to a prime vantage point, like Vista View Park (loosely translated to “View View Park,” and located at 4001 SW 142nd Ave., Davie). The self-described “hilly” park sports one of the highest elevations in South Florida, making it possible (on a clear night) to bear witness to the vibrant grand finales of celebrations in Davie, Miramar, Pembroke Pines, Plantation, Sunrise, and beyond. The park will stay open until 11 p.m. to accommodate the ’splosions, and it only costs $5 per carload or $1.50 per walk-in to enter. Call 954-327-8797.
Sat., July 4, 5 p.m., 2009

KEEP NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of South Florida, and we'd like to keep it that way. Your membership allows us to continue offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food, and culture with no paywalls. You can support us by joining as a member for as little as $1.