Five Never-Released Jimmy Buffett Albums

If you had to pick one group of fans who should be hand-selected to enjoy the Rapture, wouldn't it be Parrotheads? Those Hawaiian-shirt wearing, tailgating drunkards can't join the afterlife fast enough. But Buffett keeps cranking out the albums, over and over and over, a conveyor-belt of chum that seems to appease his fanbase but makes the rest of us chuckle.

He's been called "beach bum as mythic figure." Bum, yes -- mythic, no. Of course, we won't be chuckling if we're not rapturing. But maybe these unreleased Buffett albums will help fill the void.

5. Mo Mangos, Mo Money (With Warren Buffett)

4. Drunk On a Boat (Again)

3. Tofu/Quinoa Mash in Purgatory 

2. Son of a Son of the Son-of-a-Bitch Sailor Who Stole My Beer

1. Hey! There's My Fucking Salt Shaker!