Smell that? No, we didn't crap our pants. It's bullshit season!
Music Television is a fiction. At one point, somewhere around 1992, it was a real thing. But now, the chief network responsible for providing us with concurrent melodic and visual entertainment has devolved into a 24/7 Jerry Springer-style faux-reality marathon. So why MTV still annually presents the sham that is the Video Music Awards completely baffles us. Shouldn't they be granting awards to, like, Pauly D's hair dresser? Or maybe to whomever has the truest life or is the youngest teen to procreate?
Either way, the network insists on hosting the VMAs. And, therefore, we insist on letting you know why it's a total fucking joke.