Each year around this time, I sit down with my phone in hand and wait for the MTV Video Music Awards to improve. It's a fruitless exercise. I realize that now. But there's an '80s child inside me who still believes in Music Television as the finest marriage of mediums. That '80s child must die before the 2015 VMAs.
Last night, the show started with the ever-unintelligible Boca native Ariana Grande. I like to think of her as the Pootie Tang of pop music. What in hell is this chick saying ever? Her wails certainly undulate with impressive range, but articulating words seems to be somewhat of a challenge for her.