Everybody With the Wish Lists. You Will Get Coal and Like It! | New Times Broward-Palm Beach


Everybody With the Wish Lists. You Will Get Coal and Like It!

Are you as excited about the Fort Lauderdale City Commission election as I am? I thought so. Are you as excited as ex-commissioner Tim Smith? Fat chance.

For the uninitiated, Smith's blog has a Pavlovian response to impolitic remarks by Mayor Jim Naugle, which keeps him plenty busy. For the longest time, in Smith's ruminations about how the city could better itself, the No. 1 item on his wish list was for Naugle to be turned over to war crimes tribunal in The Hague, or something like that. Well, with Naugle about to hit his term limits, he will govern Fort Lauderdale no more forever, and Smith must fashion a new wish list. So he grabbed his trusty digital camera and went tooling around the city looking for worthy reclamation projects. After the jump, we consider his recommendations.

1. I don't know what surprises me more: that swimming has a hall of fame or that it resides in Fort Lauderdale. Yes, it looks like a fortress and it better be so that we can take our battle stations when the Chinese attack by sea. Or the Russians?

2. The north beach Sunrise Lane area is a bit worse for wear, I'll admit, but it's interesting in a time-warpy way, and it's certainly better than some cringe-inducting city makeover. That's bound to be either a waste of money or a schlocky CityPlace-style crap-tasm, or most likely, both.

3. That gorgeous tract of land along Sistrunk shall be the site of Michael Irvin's Playmaker Plaza. Don't tell me the ex-Cowboy Hall of Fame inductee is going to break hearts in his hometown!

4. - 6. That idea costs a lot of money. We don't have money.

7. Developers don't have money either.

8. Nor does the state.

9. Now you're just contradicting yourself. If we got rid of the crime on 13th Street we would have no need for...

10. A new police station. Besides, there's no money for that.

-- Thomas Francis