If you're like me and part of the bourgeoisie, you're also excited about the opening Friday morning of the I-95 pay express lanes. Because now we don't have to travel among the simpleton commuters -- we've got our own lane, H. Wayne Huizenga! For anywhere from a quarter to $6.20, you can zip past the suckers. I count myself among the elite mostly because I've been paying this fee for some time already. An official with the DOT -- I haven't caught his name yet -- collects it from me every morning at the I-95 and Broward Boulevard off-ramp. At least with this new collection method my car won't smell like Jägermeister.
After the jump, find out whether you deserve to wear the following patch on your jean jacket.
Please Hold the Recession
Fort Lauderdale commissioners approved plans yesterday for a developer to tear down the Landmark Bank building, the city's first skyscraper, and build a mega-development that includes a hotel, residential space, commercial offices, a private airstrip, and the world's largest cooler of Cristal. Now, sure, we're all wondering how to pay that February 2007 mortgage payment, but if you travel in the I-95 express lane, you can still roll with those who have enough money to tear down a perfectly good building for a bigger one. Just don't ask them to pass condiments through their window.
Cue That Weird X-Files Theme
There's a ceremony planned Friday to remember the Lost Patrol -- the bomber that went missing in the Bermuda Triangle in 1945 and was the inspiration for 47 episodes of the X-Files. Now I can just hear you commoners dismissing this as a problem of us elitists and our fancy airplanes. But I'm betting that a group of people gathering at 2 p.m. on a Friday to remember the first lost Bermuda Triangle plane will not include H. Wayne Huizenga.
Reenactment of the Day
A guy in Indiantown, Florida, is facing battery charges after allegedly hitting his girlfriend in the face with a hot sweet potato pie. Police say he didn't like the Thanksgiving food they were about to eat. For this reenactment, Bill Gates has agreed to play the girlfriend.
-- Eric Barton