Crist's Budget Philosophy Just Like Payday Loan

Gov. Charlie Crist came to South Florida yesterday to tout his plan to take a $1.1 billion loan from the Seminole tribe, a move that officially sells the state's future to the fine folks who use slot machines to take your grandmother's Social Security checks. The plan initially sounded confusing...

By Eric Barton

April 24, 2009

[
        {
          "name": "GPT - Billboard - Slot Inline - Content - Labeled - No Desktop",
          "component": "16971022",
          "insertPoint": "2",
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "2"
        },{
          "name": "Editor Picks",
          "component": "15769925",
          "insertPoint": "4",
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "1"
        },{
          "name": "Inline Links",
          "component": "16575154",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 8,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "7",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        },{
          "name": "GPT - Rectangle 2x - Slot Auto-select - Labeled",
          "component": "15782206",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 8,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "7",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        },{
          "name": "Inline Links",
          "component": "16575154",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 12,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "11",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        },{
          "name": "GPT - Leaderboard to Tower - Slot Auto-select - Labeled",
          "component": "15782207",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 12,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "11",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        }
      ]

Gov. Charlie Crist came to South Florida yesterday to tout his plan to take a $1.1 billion loan from the Seminole tribe, a move that officially sells the state's future to the fine folks who use slot machines to take your grandmother's Social Security checks.

The plan initially sounded confusing to me, but then I remembered the sign at the payday loan store, and I'm guessing that's exactly where Crist got the idea. Some similarities:

Crist's plan: The state will repay the Seminoles with the portion of casino revenues that the Seminoles pay the state. If casino revenues decline, the state will take other remedies, like, I'm guessing here, installing Seminole slot machines in our schools.

Payday loan plan: The loan comes based on the idea that I may still have a job next week. If I don't, the payday loan store comes and takes all of my stuff again.

Crist's plan: In exchange for the loan, the Seminoles get to run blackjack tables, meaning that taxpayers will help repay the loan themselves every time the dealer gets 21.

Payday loan plan: In exchange for cashing my paycheck early, the payday loan store gets to call me every day and remind me about how my loan is almost due.

Crist's plan: The state constitution forbids lawmakers from taking out a loan to pay operating costs, so Crist would need to hide the money elsewhere in the budget.

Payday loan plan: The wife forbids taking out a payday loan to play slot machines, ignoring that this could be the time that I don't come back from the Seminole casino broke.

So in the end, it's clear Crist hasn't figured out the last step in his plan. But I'm sure he'll figure out that the best chance of repaying the Seminole's loan is to go double down at the casino.

KEEP NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of South Florida, and we'd like to keep it that way. Your membership allows us to continue offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food, and culture with no paywalls. You can support us by joining as a member for as little as $1.