Weed Seekers Need Online Update -- Stat! | New Times Broward-Palm Beach

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Weed Seekers Need Online Update -- Stat!

​Wanted -- a few potheads who can get some research done and can form a few articulate sentences about their experiences.

Webehigh.com, an international website that directs would-be stoners to the nearest dealer, whether that be in Bangladesh, Lithuania, or Papua New Guinea, is seriously bereft of South Florida locations where you can, you know, score some herb.

The self-dubbed "worldwide marijuana travel guide" hasn't updated its South Florida connections in, like, forever. That's gotta put the hurt on traveling weed fiends who roll into town looking for doobage. And if Windhoek, Namibia, can post a recent update, what's wrong with us? Are potheads too lazy to do some basic reporting to help their fellow burnouts?

For example, Fort Lauderdale's listing was last updated in October 2005. The status report regarding law enforcement in the area is pretty funny:

"City of Fort Lauderdale police are usually too busy chasing murderers to worry about average consumer level potheads, but don't smoke in too public of a place or a crowded area. Stay away from the main strip along Ft. Lauderdale beach. Smaller municipal local city cops may be bored and looking for some stoned kids to mess with, such as in the areas of Hollywood, Tamarac, Cooper City, Weston, and especially Pembroke Pines (fuckers!). But most of the county is patrolled by the Broward Sheriffs Office, which is an underpaid, under funded, lazy and corrupt work force. I wouldn't worry too much about them, but stay out of slummy and ghetto areas where they like to pull white people over and search their car (i.e. Sistrunk). Use your head and you should be alright."

As far as the "Where to buy marijuana" section goes, webehigh.com offers these helpful suggestions:

Some of the clubs and bars such as the elbow room on the beach will have some locals hanging out looking to deal to some out-of-towners, but those guys will most likely rip you off with some South American crap.

Downtown, Las Olas, and Riverfront are good areas to be social and meet some fellow stoners that will hook you up. Most in the Biz people are stoners so ask restaurant and bar employees where to hook up. Also, if you are willing to venture 2 or 3 miles, Dania Beach and Hollywood are infamous for breeding super stoners that can smoke you to the ground, probably because there isn't shit else to do in their towns but sit back and toke up.

Watch out for pesky French Canadians complaining about the quality of American herb (if you don't like it, go back to Montreal). Hollywood Beach is a colony of Quebec. Stoners tend to hang out in front of Haagen Dazs on the beach there, just look for surfer beach bum types, don't be too direct or they'll think you're cops!

There's no entry at all for West Palm Beach -- guess people are too baked to care, or they've already got a hookup and are too greedy to share.

Pembroke Pines' listing (updated in 2006) isn't particularly helpful:

"Best place would be the malls just ask anything thug and he probably has some or knows someone who does. Another thing you can do is walk around some of the neighborhoods late at night. There will be a dealer walking around. And if anything go to the gas stations right by Towngate there are a few dealers there."

Dealers, just walking around Pemroke Pines at night? Who knew?

Amazingly, one place that does have a helpful entry is Okeechobee:

Dean's Court, or Douglas Brown Park behind W and W lumber, also try Kahootz (ask the bartender). Pizza drivers tend to smoke a lot. I know a couple who smoke while delivering pizzas. So my advice is to just order in a Pizza and ask the driver.. 

Specifics! That's what we're looking for! Well, that settles it. Road trip!