The homeless people of Cleveland don't want them, and average citizens are tempted to burn them. So boatloads of LeBron James' former Cleveland Cavaliers jerseys will soon be shipped to unsuspecting homeless shelters in Miami.
This presents a number of issues. First, what self-respecting man would wear such an outdated piece of polyester? As delightful as it would be to watch LeBron drive by in his Hummer and spot a guy sipping Popov while sporting a giant No. 23, the chances of that happening are slim.
Second, there's the challenge of finding a reputable South Florida charitable organization,
one that won't burn the shirts to fuel its coke
habits or hawk them to politicians in some bizarre Ponzi scheme.
Here are a few suggestions. Feel free to add your own:
-- The Coalition of Service and Charity shelter in Hollywood. This group already performs weddings for homeless people. Perhaps the jerseys will provide some special honeymoon attire?
-- Park West. Not technically a shelter, but this Miami neighborhood is a sure bet for finding hungry, homeless folks who may be less picky about their fashion choices.
-- South Beach. For visibility purposes, nothing beats SoBe. Since LeBron was so eager to party there, he'd be thrilled to discover some grandpa passed out on the sand in a stained "Witness" shirt, drooling happily all over the heirloom.