Tides Foundation Funds Florida Culture War | New Times Broward-Palm Beach

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Tides Foundation Funds Florida Culture War

Ruh-roh. Just when you thought you'd finally stuffed all those pesky gay people back into the closet where they belong, along comes an organization like the Tides Foundation, which has just awarded a $150,000 grant to "educate and train gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender leaders across Florida."

That's all we need around here, more gay leaders, right? As if Wilton Manors and Lake Worth weren't already teeming with them. The goal of the grant over the next three years is to create an "environment where statewide LGBT policy change is possible by strengthening local organizations." That's code for, in case you missed it, FURTHERING THE GAY AGENDA.

The grant goes to the newly formed Organizations United Together Federation (OUT) -- wait a sec, shouldn't that be (OUTF)? -- a mysterious Florida group that apparently doesn't understand how acronyms are supposed to work. OUT(F)  says it's going to use the money for "webinars" and workshops, code words for "indoctrination tips," potentially offering high-tech training in novel ways to destroy the institution of marriage and also how to most effectively teach cunnilingus in our elementary schools.

And as if this weren't bad enough, TIDES has also awarded a separate $150,000 to the ACLU of Florida, which as we know is only a thinly disguised pusher of stuff that gays like: that particular acronym might as well stand for the Associative Cabal of Lesbians United.

All we can say is: Harrumph.