Foley One Sick Pup | New Times Broward-Palm Beach

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Foley One Sick Pup

Turns out former U.S. Rep. Mark Foley was sitting around in his underwear sending e-mails to teen boys about masturbation, or "spanking it" as the Republican Congressman calls it. Brian Ross at ABC News got hold of the messages and when Foley found out, he quit almost on the spot.

The truly sad thing about this is that Foley has only confirmed the worst Christian Right stereotypes about gay men, stereotypes that of course are largely untrue. But then again he's never represented or embodied the larger gay population. He's a gay man in the closet at the age of 52 -- and a Republican, no less. We should have all expected this kind of thing.

Interesting information in those e-mails, though. Foley, for those inquiring minds that want to know, likes to masturbate with lotion and a towel and considers 7 1/2 inches

a great penis size.

We learn this while he's chatting with a teenager who's mother is yelling at him about his homework.

Yep, Foley is a goddamn predator.

Unbelievable. The following exchange is one Foley had with a kid in 2003, not long before I wrote the outing story. Foley is Maf54 (MAF being his initials). ------------------

Maf54 (7:37:27 PM): how my favorite young stud doing Xxxxxxxxx (7:37:46 PM): tired�and�sore ... Maf54 (7:39:32 PM): you need a massage ... Xxxxxxxxx (7:41:57 PM): ugh�tomorrow�i�have�the�first�day�of�lacrosse�practice Maf54 (7:42:27 PM): love to watch that Maf54 (7:42:33 PM): those great legs running Xxxxxxxxx (7:42:38 PM): haha...they�arent�great ... Maf54 (7:46:33 PM): did any girl give you a haand job this weekend Xxxxxxxxx (7:46:38 PM): lol�no Xxxxxxxxx (7:46:40 PM): im�single�right�now Xxxxxxxxx (7:46:57 PM): my�last�gf�and�i�broke�up�a�few�weeks�agi Maf54 (7:47:11 PM): good so your getting horny Xxxxxxxxx (7:47:29 PM): lol...a�bit Maf54 (7:48:00 PM): did you spank it this weekend yourself Xxxxxxxxx (7:48:04 PM): no Xxxxxxxxx (7:48:16 PM): been�too�tired�and�too�busy Maf54 (7:48:33 PM): wow... Maf54 (7:48:34 PM): i am never to busy haha Xxxxxxxxx (7:48:51 PM): haha Maf54 (7:50:02 PM): or tired..helps me sleep Xxxxxxxxx (7:50:15 PM): thats�true Xxxxxxxxx (7:50:36 PM): havent�been�having�a�problem�with�sleep�though..�i�just�walk�in�the�door�and�collapse�well�at�least�this�weekend Maf54 (7:50:56 PM): i am sure Xxxxxxxxx (7:50:57 PM): i�dont�do�it�very�often�normally�though Maf54 (7:51:11 PM): why not Maf54 (7:51:22 PM): at your age seems like it would be daily Xxxxxxxxx (7:51:57 PM): not�me Xxxxxxxxx (7:52:01 PM): im�not�a�horn�dog Xxxxxxxxx (7:52:07 PM): maybe�2�or�3�times�a�week Maf54 (7:52:20 PM): thats a good number Maf54 (7:52:27 PM): in the shower Xxxxxxxxx (7:52:36 PM): actually�usually�i�dont�do�it�in�the�shower Xxxxxxxxx (7:52:42 PM): just�cause�i�shower�in�the�morning Xxxxxxxxx (7:52:47 PM): and�quickly Maf54 (7:52:50 PM): in the bed Xxxxxxxxx (7:52:59 PM): i�get�up�at�530�and�am�outta�the�house�by�610 Xxxxxxxxx (7:53:03 PM): eh�ya Maf54 (7:53:24 PM): on your back Xxxxxxxxx (7:53:30 PM): no�face�down Maf54 (7:53:32 PM): love details Xxxxxxxxx (7:53:34 PM): lol Xxxxxxxxx (7:53:36 PM): i�see�that Xxxxxxxxx (7:53:37 PM): lol Maf54 (7:53:39 PM): really Maf54 (7:53:54 PM): do you really do it face down Xxxxxxxxx (7:54:03 PM): ya Maf54 (7:54:13 PM): kneeling Xxxxxxxxx (7:54:31 PM): well�i�dont�use�my�hand...i�use�the�bed�itself Maf54 (7:54:31 PM): where do you unload it Xxxxxxxxx (7:54:36 PM): towel Maf54 (7:54:43 PM): really Maf54 (7:55:02 PM): completely naked? Xxxxxxxxx (7:55:12 PM): well�ya Maf54 (7:55:21 PM): very nice Xxxxxxxxx (7:55:24 PM): lol Maf54 (7:55:51 PM): cute butt bouncing in the air Xxxxxxxxx (7:56:00 PM): haha Xxxxxxxxx (7:56:05 PM): well�ive�never�watched�myslef Xxxxxxxxx (7:56:08 PM): but�ya�i�guess Maf54 (7:56:18 PM): i am sure not Maf54 (7:56:22 PM): hmmm Maf54 (7:56:30 PM): great visual ... Maf54 (7:57:05 PM): i always use lotion and the hand Maf54 (7:57:10 PM): but who knows Xxxxxxxxx (7:57:24 PM): i�dont�use�lotion...takes�too�much�time�to�clean�up Xxxxxxxxx (7:57:37 PM): with�a�towel�you�can�just�wipe�off....and�go Maf54 (7:57:38 PM): lol Maf54 (7:57:45 PM): where do you throw the towel Xxxxxxxxx (7:57:48 PM): but�you�cant�work�it�too�hard....or�its�not�good Xxxxxxxxx (7:57:51 PM): in�the�laundry Maf54 (7:58:16 PM): just kinda slow rubbing Xxxxxxxxx (7:58:23 PM): ya.... Xxxxxxxxx (7:58:32 PM): or�youll�rub�yourslef�raw Maf54 (7:58:37 PM): well I have aa totally stiff wood now Xxxxxxxxx (7:58:40 PM): cause�the�towell�isnt�very�soft Maf54 (7:58:44 PM): i bet..taht would hurt Xxxxxxxxx (7:58:50 PM): but�you�cn�find�something�softer�than�a�towell�i�guess Maf54 (7:58:59 PM): but it must feel great spirting on the towel Xxxxxxxxx (7:59:06 PM): ya Maf54 (7:59:29 PM): wow Maf54 (7:59:48 PM): is your little guy limp...or growing Xxxxxxxxx (7:59:54 PM): eh�growing Maf54 (8:00:00 PM): hmm Maf54 (8:00:12 PM): so you got a stiff one now Xxxxxxxxx (8:00:19 PM): not�that�fast Xxxxxxxxx (8:00:20 PM): hey Xxxxxxxxx (8:00:32 PM): so�you�have�a�fetich Maf54 (8:00:32 PM): hey what Xxxxxxxxx (8:00:40 PM): fetish** Maf54 (8:00:43 PM): like Maf54 (8:00:53 PM): i like steamroom Maf54 (8:01:04 PM): whats yours Xxxxxxxxx (8:01:09 PM): its�kinda�weird Xxxxxxxxx (8:01:14 PM): lol Maf54 (8:01:21 PM): i am hard as a tell me when your reaches rock Xxxxxxxxx (8:01:23 PM): i�have�a�cast�fetish Maf54 (8:01:27 PM): well tell me Maf54 (8:01:32 PM): cast Xxxxxxxxx (8:01:44 PM): ya�like...plaster�cast Maf54 (8:01:49 PM): what happens Maf54 (8:01:58 PM): how does that turn you in Xxxxxxxxx (8:02:02 PM): i�dont�know Xxxxxxxxx (8:02:04 PM): it�just�does Xxxxxxxxx (8:02:08 PM): ive�never�had�one Xxxxxxxxx (8:02:16 PM): but�people�that�have�them�turn�me�on Xxxxxxxxx (8:02:27 PM): and�if�i�had�one�it�would�probably�turn�me�on Xxxxxxxxx (8:02:29 PM): beats�me Xxxxxxxxx (8:02:32 PM): its�kinda�weird Xxxxxxxxx (8:02:50 PM): but�along�with�that�i�like�the�whole�catholic�girl�look....thats�our�schools�uniform Maf54 (8:03:02 PM): ha thats wild Xxxxxxxxx (8:03:14 PM): ya�but�now�im�hard Maf54 (8:03:32 PM): me 2 Maf54 (8:03:42 PM): cast got you going Maf54 (8:03:47 PM): what you wearing Xxxxxxxxx (8:04:04 PM): normal�clothes Xxxxxxxxx (8:04:09 PM): tshirt�and�shorts Maf54 (8:04:17 PM): um so a big buldge Xxxxxxxxx (8:04:35 PM): ya Maf54 (8:04:45 PM): um Maf54 (8:04:58 PM): love to slip them off of you Xxxxxxxxx (8:05:08 PM): haha Maf54 (8:05:53 PM): and gram the one eyed snake Maf54 (8:06:13 PM): grab Xxxxxxxxx (8:06:53 PM): not�tonight...dont�get�to�excited Maf54 (8:07:12 PM): well your hard Xxxxxxxxx (8:07:45 PM): that�is�true Maf54 (8:08:03 PM): and a little horny Xxxxxxxxx (8:08:11 PM): and�also�tru Maf54 (8:08:31 PM): get a ruler and measure it for me Xxxxxxxxx (8:08:38 PM): ive�already�told�you�that Maf54 (8:08:47 PM): tell me again Xxxxxxxxx (8:08:49 PM): 7�and�1/2 Maf54 (8:09:04 PM): ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Maf54 (8:09:08 PM): beautiful Xxxxxxxxx (8:09:38 PM): lol Maf54 (8:09:44 PM): thats a great size Xxxxxxxxx (8:10:00 PM): thank�you Maf54 (8:10:22 PM): still stiff Xxxxxxxxx (8:10:28 PM): ya Maf54 (8:10:40 PM): take it out Xxxxxxxxx (8:10:54 PM):�mom�is�yelling Maf54 (8:11:06 PM): ok Xxxxxxxxx (8:14:02 PM): back Maf54 (8:14:37 PM): cool hope se didnt see any thing Xxxxxxxxx (8:14:54 PM): no�no Xxxxxxxxx (8:14:59 PM): she�is�computer�dumb�though Xxxxxxxxx (8:15:01 PM): it�makes�me�so�mad Maf54 (8:15:04 PM): good Maf54 (8:15:08 PM): haha Maf54 (8:15:11 PM): why Xxxxxxxxx (8:15:23 PM): cause�she�cant�do�anything Maf54 (8:15:31 PM): oh well Xxxxxxxxx (8:15:41 PM): she�couldnt�figure�out�how�to�download�a�file�from�an�email�and�open�it Maf54 (8:15:53 PM): haha Xxxxxxxxx (8:16:14 PM): and�she�only�does�it�like�a�million�times�a�day Xxxxxxxxx (8:16:16 PM): oh�well Xxxxxxxxx (8:16:18 PM): whatever Xxxxxxxxx (8:16:53 PM): well�i�better�go�finish�my�hw...i�just�found�out�from�a�friend�that�i�have�to�finish�reading�and�notating�a�book�for�AP�english�Maf54 signed off at 8:17:43 PM." ------------------ How bad is that? Here's another excerpt:

Maf54 (8:03:47 PM): what you wearing Xxxxxxxxx (8:04:04 PM): normal�clothes Xxxxxxxxx (8:04:09 PM): tshirt�and�shorts Maf54 (8:04:58 PM): love to slip them off of you Maf54 (7:53:45 PM): in your shorts and polo shirt? Xxxxxxxxxx (7:54:06 PM): no athletic shorts and t shirt...had soccer practice today Maf54 (7:54:15 PM): ummm nice Maf54 (7:54:30 PM): jock strap too Xxxxxxxxxx (7:54:41 PM): not iin soccer Xxxxxxxxxx (7:54:42 PM): lol Maf54 (7:55:09 PM): what do you wear then Xxxxxxxxxx (7:55:20 PM): just our boxers and shorts Maf54 (7:55:34 PM): good Xxxxxxxxxx (7:55:37 PM): lol Maf54 (7:55:42 PM): shows your package then Xxxxxxxxxx (8:33:29 PM): ya slow things down a little im still under 18 dont want to do anything not 18 till feb 23 Maf54 (8:33:43 PM): i know.. Maf54 (8:33:50 PM): nothing will happen Maf54 (8:34:04 PM): just dreaming Maf54 (8:45:32 PM): your horny though Xxxxxxxxx (8:45:39 PM): well ya a bit Xxxxxxxxx (8:45:45 PM): but im still a virgin Maf54 (6:26:40 PM): your in the boxers too Xxxxxxxxx (6:26:47 PM): nope�just�got�home Maf54 (6:27:39 PM): well strip down and get relaxed

Nice to see our reps on Capitol Hill at work, huh?