Allen West Should Take Over Secret Service, Washington Post Piece Argues

Ever since South Florida voters booted him from office after realizing they'd accidentally elected not a serious politician but a self-interested sound-bite machine, Allen West has been looking for steady work. Sure, he can hop onto Fox News whenever he wants and say some treasonous malarkey, and the Tea Party rock-star status is good for the occasional campaign appearance. But no calling. A recent Washington Post piece, however, argues West is perfect for one job: running the Secret Service.

The argument comes from Dan Emmett, a former member of the Secret Service, CIA, and the Marines. In a piece published on the paper's PostEverything section in late September, he lays a plausible critique of the troubled government agency. Then, in the eighth paragraph, when hashing over who should be appointed after the dismissal of recent head Julia Pierson, Emmett jumps the shark.

In this role, a true leader, not a bureaucrat, is needed. Someone like Florida congressman and retired U.S. Army Lt. Col. Allen West would be perfect for the role. West has successfully demonstrated that he possesses the leadership skills of a combat officer as well as managerial and diplomatic skills of a congressman, exactly the traits needed in the next director. Highly competent and beholden to no one in the Secret Service, he would be a superb director.

This idea is so laughably bonkers, such a piece of rhetorical dada, that Emmett's got to be punking us. First off, we're talking about placing the life of the president in the hands of a guy who has repeatedly called the president an "Islamist" who is "working counter to the security of the United States of America."

Just within the past week, West has trucked out a couple of whoppers when it comes to ridiculousness. He's started the rumor that the current administration "ordered our military to enlist illegal aliens" (which, surprise surprise, is bull), suggested the armed forces should disobey this "charlatan," and also suggested that undocumented youths are spreading enterovirus through America as a form of biological warfare.

We're just going to give Emmett the benefit of the doubt and assume he just got his Allen Wests mixed up.