Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. You know this. What you also know is that it's a day of time-honored traditions like sharing a feast with loved ones, watching football with friends, watching Aunt Edna get drunk on boxed wine, and trying to explain to your mom why you're not married yet.
Another time-honored tradition is the presidential pardoning of the turkey, which is the dumbest thing a president can ever do. But hey, traditions. So President Obama will pick a turkey and pardon it so that no one will eat it, until the Republicans in Congress shut down the government over his choice of turkey.
However, here in Florida, we too have some turkeys. And none of them should be pardoned. Because they're in their own way despicable or awful or just downright insufferable. Here's our time-honored tradition: Florida's Top Turkeys, the 2014 edition: