All Rise For The Courthouse Clowns | New Times Broward-Palm Beach

All Rise For The Courthouse Clowns

The Sun-Sentinel's web page redesign is ... an improvement. Main thin is that it's a whole lot easier to navigate the actual news, since they've put more of it out there on the page. They done good.

And there's a good news story in the paper today as well. Tonya Alanez reports that Charlie "Hey, You Look Like A Columbine Killer" Kaplan was receptive to offers of free tickets made by the father of a juvenile defendant in his courtroom (who was apparently the piano player at the recent visit by the Sopranos cast to the Hard Rock Hote). The judge seemed "impressed," according to a memo written by assistant public defender Tanya Simpson, and actually gave the guy his business card.

He also gave the man's son an extremely light sentence. This is just more of the same from these clowns. Kaplan is just walking in the legendary footsteps of one of his predecessors in the juvenile courtroom, the Hon. Larry Seidlin.

After the jump: Old Ladies and Young Monsters

-- Seems an elderly woman robbed a bank in Lauderhill. I gotta admire the old lady's chutzpah -- in her note, she asked for a specific amount, $4,000. Count it out on the table, no bags, no dye packs, no funny stuff. That seems smart to me, though four grand seems a little light when it comes to the risk. Can't envy the detective who has to investigate. There's an ocean of old ladies out there. There's a gaggle of them, doddering through the supermarket. There's one in the painfully slow-moving car in front of you, only you can't see her over the seat. Imagine the investigator's horror walking through Century Village. They're fucking everywhere, chief. Everywhere.

-- West Palm police have arrested a third suspect in the truly horrific gang rape involving a mother and her 12-year-old boy. Remember how the Palm Beach Post didn't report the most disturbing fact of all, that the gang of teens had forced the son to have sex with his mother before pouring ammonia on the woman and into the boy's eyes? Well, they drop that fact in routinely now (the attackers actually forced the mother to perform fellatio on her son), especially after the AP broke that part of the story and helped make it national news.

Some commenters (obviously not journalists) on the post about the story below say the Post shouldn't have reported that fact to protect the family's privacy. Well, the truth is that the family's identity is already being protected -- the victims' names aren't being released. Plus the victim's family has talked to the media about the attack. So everybody just shut up and read Kevin Deutsch's story here.