Allen West Loses to Patrick Murphy; Fox News to Gain a Crazy Person | New Times Broward-Palm Beach


Allen West Loses to Patrick Murphy; Fox News to Gain a Crazy Person

It's a sad day for Commie hunters and fans of men who force their wives to have buttsex everywhere -- and kind of a bittersweet morning for the Pulp this morning.

Several sources are reporting that Allen West has lost his bid for reelection to Patrick Murphy for Florida's 18th District.

(But West moved there based solely on the fact that he'd have a more excellent chance of winning so he can continue to call Obama an apologist and point out all the Communists! THIS IS MADNESS.)

Did we say bittersweet?


We meant:

With 99 percent of the precincts reporting by 2:30 this morning (roughly around the time Obama finally showed up to deliver his victory speech! Just like a Kenyan to show up late! Hurmph!), Murphy led West by 2,000 votes.

An hour before that, Murphy was already declaring himself the winner.

Of course, the race is so close that a winner hasn't officially been declared yet. But NBC declared it anyway.

By 6 a.m., Murphy had 160,328 votes to West's 157,872 (or 50.4 percent to 49.6 percent), with 100 percent precincts reporting.

We'd say that's pretty definitive, if razor thin. Or perhaps it's a SOCIALIST PLOT to take West down.

Murphy hit the stage at his victory rally, telling supporters that NBC had called it. West's party, meanwhile, shut down shortly after midnight, which is both sad and glorious at the same time.

Of course, with the tally being this close, we can expect West to probably challenge it and demand a recount. Because he's kind of a dick.

But with West losing, he's now free to expand his COMMIE HUNTING ways and Obama-bashing crusade to a broader audience when Fox News inevitably gives him his own show.

For now, we hang our head and bid farewell to Allen West. And admit that we're going to miss the shit out of bashing him here on the Pulp.

(We probably will still bash him as soon as he gets that show.)

So long, Allen. We'll miss you.

Thanks for all the crazy!