Broward News

2014 Teacher Evaluations: Bayview Elementary Was Robbed!

Six days ago, on December 4, the Florida Department of Education released its 2013-2014 teacher evaluations. These findings, which take into account student test scores and classroom evaluations, are useful for two reasons: 1) They provide parents with a comprehensive list that can help them choose the right school for their child's education, and 2) you can print the results out, slap them between two slices of honey wheat bread and eat it for lunch, because as far as I'm concerned these evaluations are bologna!

In the interest of transparency, I should disclose now that I am a proud alumni of Bayview Elementary, class of 2001. There I served as one of several ringleaders in the kindergarten circus (since discontinued after one of the kindergarten strongmen tested positive for Mountain Dew Code Red), and lost a 4th grade vice presidential election by the slimmest of margins.