The 2014 Miami Dolphins season is well underway! And while lots of other sites will be breaking down each game and listing reasons the Dolphins will or won't win while analyzing players, coaches, and match-ups against their respective opponent week to week, we won't.
Not us. Not here. Instead, we're focusing on why every week's opponent has the worst fan base in all of the NFL.
This week, the 6-5 Dolphins are set to play division-rival New York Jets on Monday night at MetLife Stadium.
Here are nine reasons their fans are the worst:
See also: 9 Reasons Buffalo Bills Fans Are the Worst
9. Because of That Insufferable J-E-T-S Jets, Jets, Jets Chant It's like a horde of troglodytic halfwits who just learned how to spell.
DERR THIS IS HOW THE NAME OF OUR TEAM IS SPELLED BE AFRAID NERRR.
This is an actual YouTube comment from a Jets fan from that video above:
as a jets player on kick-off, that chant woould make me wanna crack some heads!!!....J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS!!!
8. Because They Act Like Insufferable Imbeciles When They Win
It's never enough that the Jets win a game (in the rare occasion that they do). Jets fans have to YELL it at everyone within earshot between lathering themselves with Drakkar Noir knockoff cologne and makeout sessions with their mustached girlfriends that the New Yawk Jetssss are da greatest footbawll team in da history of everything until they lose the following week.
7. Because They Act Like Insufferable Imbeciles When They Lose
Every fan base gets upset when its team loses and demands changes and tweaks. But Jets fans have the innate ability to suffer like no other fan base AND MUST LET THE ENTIRE WORLD KNOW OF THEIR AGONY. Because this is New York, and losing is UNHEARD OF here! So they flood WFAN like a horde of angry Guidos and yell loud angry noises about how the Jets need to trade for Peyton Manning.
6. Because They're Spreading Their Insufferable Seed
5. Because of Unearned Insufferable Arrogance
Oh look how clever we are because we boo everybody's draft pick at the draft every year.
This is the same fan base that declared it would be a dynasty with Mark Sanchez at the helm.
LIVING IN NEW YORK AND ONE SUPER BOWL VICTORY 50 YEARS AGO DOESN'T AUTOMATICALLY MAKE YOU GOD'S CHOSEN FOOTBALL TEAM, YOU MONGOLOIDS.
4. Because They Need an Incentive Program to Not Act Like Insufferable Animals Because the Jets organization knows that its fan base is a horde of half-wits, it decided to start a program where it rewards Jets fans for NOT acting like half-wits during games at MetLife.
Jets season ticket holders are now actually awarded points just for going to games at MetLife Stadium and not getting kicked out. Those points can lead to autograph sessions or Super Bowl tickets.
It's essentially the rolled-up newspaper smack to the bad dog's snout for a fan base because the dog can't help but crap on the living room floor and tear up the couch cushions.
3. Because They're Insufferable Toward the Ladies Their male fans get into rumbles with women and shout at ladies to show their breasts during halftime at games.
There are plenty of fake gold chains, hairy backs, and wife-beater shirts to go around, ladies. GET IN LINE!
2. Because They're ALL This Insufferable Guy
Disapprove of your quarterback? Cheer for a debilitating, career-threatening injury! (100 bucks this guy has a Wayne Chrebet jersey tucked away somewhere at his mom's house.)
1. Because They Infest South Florida Yet Claim New York Is the Greatest City on Earth. Insufferably. New Yoahk is dah grayyytest cit-ee in dah woyld! (Has been living in South Florida for the past 40 years.)
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