Time to Face the Music

Walk into Pip and Duane Brant’s new exhibit at ArtCenter/South Florida, and you might feel as if you’ve just stepped into a classic Steppenwolf tune — off on a magic carpet ride, whisking through clouds of sound. “The Flying Carpet” will unfurl this Saturday night at 7 and features a…

The Crew with More than Nine Poplives

In a city that has the attention span of a 5-year-old, it’s surprising when anything lasts more than one year, let alone ten. So when Poplife celebrated its decade-old milestone this past July, Miami took notice. Of all the hipsterati dance parties that emerged at the turn of the millennium,…

Ruining Woodstock

If you remember Woodstock, you probably weren’t there,” the expression goes. And if you were, can you please stop gassing on about it? Aquarian Nostalgia™ is the most oppressively sanctimonious and dull stripe of reminiscing. Sure, the three free days of peace and music at Max Yasgur’s farm passed without…

Munching Across the Great Divide

Two years ago, an editor complained to me that his daughter was using the word random too much. It’s not just her, I told him. Random has lately invaded the adolescent lexicon with nearly the force mustered by cool in the 1950s. In the past decade, random has proliferated almost…

The Final Destination Offers at Least One New Idea

Fatality lurks around every ceiling fan, shampoo bottle, and espresso machine in the fourth entry in New Line Cinema’s improbably long-running death-by-misadventure franchise, focused on yet another group of friends who narrowly escape a catastrophic accident only to learn the hard way that when your number’s up, it really is…

Rob Zombie Goes Slumming With Halloween II

Serial killer Michael Myers, it turns out, has mother issues. In this disappointing sequel to his intense and much underrated 2007 remake of John Carpenter’s 1978 classic, Halloween, rock star turned filmmaker Rob Zombie sends Michael (Tyler Mane) on another killing spree at the urging of his now-dead mom (Sheri…

In the Thick of Satire

This deliriously foul-mouthed political satire is set sometime between 2002 and the day after tomorrow; hard to say, given that the country with which U.S. and U.K. pols want to go to war is unnamed save for its location in, you know, the Middle East. The prime minister and president,…

Your Main Squeezes: Shwayze and Cisco

Those who frequent too many internet gossip sites might forever (in internet years, anyways) associate Cisco Adler with a certain waist-down photo that circulated a couple years back. That’s okay, though. Here in South Florida, land of a thousand chances, the one thing blog notoriety guarantees is the opportunity to…

Let’s Talk About Sex (Education)

Among states, Florida ranks sixth for unintended teen pregnancy, and receives the second-highest amount of abstinence-only education funding — falling just behind Texas, which has the third-highest teen birth rate. This isn’t college football. We don’t want to beat Texas. For 90 years, Planned Parenthood has made it its mission…

Art in Dutch

Scenic nature shots, in general, are beautiful because nature is beautiful: mountains, rivers, beach scenes, a rock, a lone lily pad floating on a still pond — all beautiful. But it’s just nature. Run it through the eye of Dutch artist Rolf Weijburg and you get prints from an inspired…

The Lucky Bullet

Your lucky bullet is not the one that missed your body by an inch. Your lucky bullet is a man. A human cannonball. A guy’s guy who likes to be shot out of a cannon, seventy feet into the air! David “The Bullet” Smith will hurtle over Seminole Casino’s parking…

The House of 1,000 Vinyls

That glorious, brightly-lit, sleazy Hustler store on Sunrise Boulevard was once a record store — Peaches. In the past few years, many of us have lost our favorite record stores to other businesses, and words like sad or depressing can’t thoroughly express the loss. (Then again, it’s hard to argue…

All Murderers Go to Heaven

What do you get when you kill 52 nuns and can’t properly dispose of their bodies? Hilarity, of course! In Dan Goggin’s Nunsense, Sister Julia “accidentally” poisons 52 nuns with her home cooking. Then, after she repents of course, she turns her attention to raising funds for the burials. A…

Foxx’s Pipes

Folks like to call Jamie Foxx a triple threat for his abilities as an actor, singer and comedian — but after seeing his penis a few weeks ago on the internet, we’ve forgotten that he does anything more than take pics of his naked bod in the bathroom mirror. Luckily,…

A Plie Is a Promise

Your house is laced with evidence of your raging case of A.C.P. (Activity Commitment Phobia). That treadmill you purchased to train for marathons now doubles as a laundry bin. And those Learn German in Three Weeks! CDs? Well, they make positively charming coasters. Imagine having the dedication to start training…

Local Vocals

For at least 10 years, Garo Gallo, along with girlfriend and business partner Yvonne Colon, has worked zealously to keep the fabric of Fort Lauderdale’s music community from unraveling. At their old warehouse, at the the recently-opened artist/music space the Bubble, and during their monthly event Florida? Yeah!, they’ve been…

Good News, Bad News

The good news is that the Florida Marlins took down the league-leading Dodgers a few weeks ago. The bad news is that the Nationals, the worst team in the majors, swept the Fish soon after. The good news is, the Marlins were able to bounce back and sweep the defending…

I’ve Got Your Fist Bump Right Here…

Remember when a show of the fist was the invitation to a backyard brawl instead of a cute “Wassup” to coworkers around the office? Miss it? If you pine for the return of the punch, perhaps a doubleheader of ass-kicking will quench the bloodthirst. Tonight, to commemorate ESPN2’s “Friday Night…

It’s Charlie Murphy, Bitch!

There was a time when Charlie Murphy was probably best known as “Eddie’s brother.” But then came Chappelle’s Show and its popular “Charlie Murphy’s True Hollywood Stories” sketches, which included the now-classic lines “I’m rich, bitch!” and “Cocaine’s a hell of a drug.” That show may be gone, but Murphy…

Rock Out

Now we know you like to save your tennis bracelet, gem-encrusted nameplate, and 3-carat eternity band for a Cinderella-esque ball with your entourage, but make an exception tonight for Dress Up in Diamonds at the South African Jewels Showroom (5295 Town Center Rd., Ste. 202, Boca Raton). At this pinkies-in-the-air…

Whose Phobia Is It Anyway?

Paranoia is contagious, so when the media throws a new phobia our way, what happens? We bring it to work. We talk about it around the ol’ water cooler (How often do you think they change that water filter anyways?). We bring it home (Do you think the TV is…

Aristotelian Cinema

Quick! Noel Coward: sage or supercilious bitch? No matter where you stand, Stephan Elliott’s deliciously cheeky screen adaptation of one of the satirist’s lesser-known jabs at the British upper crust will charm your pants off. The movie opens with a contemporary rendition of Coward’s “Mad About the Boy,” impressively sung…