Jonny Rotten

We’ve all done it once before: Dreading the term paper due today that you haven’t even started, you call up your professor and sob, “It’s my grandmother! (Sniff.) She’s passed away! (Insert breakdown gestures here.)” Maybe it works and she lets you off the hook – but what to do…

There’s a Whore in All of Us

You work a straight-laced day job. You also go to the gym regularly, eat three squares a day, and never date more than one man at a time. Your personal hygiene habits are impeccable. So why can’t you shake the suspicion that deep down inside you’re housing a singing, dancing,…

Ain’t that American?

When compiling a list of things that are distinctly American, baseball and apple pie pop to mind. But shouldn’t we add country music as well? Johnny Cash, Merle Haggard, and Willie Nelson are just a few citizens of these great states who’ve crafted and popularized the genre. David Allan Coe…

Online Skepticism, Demystified

It all started with a nudie calendar. Not your typical “Girls With Ladders” or “Hot Rod Honeys,” but a tongue-in-cheek assortment of hilarious (science-themed) cheesecake pics – the stars of which were skeptics, rational thinkers, or just girls who have denounced god’s existence and figured, “Why the hell, not?” The…

A Good Time to Be A Geek

Remember those wonderful high school days? A period of self-discovery completely ruined by the pressures of fitting in, mostly to avoid persecution from fellow classmates. You may have been a jock or one of those popular kids (weirdo) — but if you’re reading this, there’s a good chance you were…

American Handstand

Chances are strong that if Luna Bars and Soy Joys comprise your daily grub intake, you’re probably already familiar with foam mats and the Downward Dog. But even if chakra-balancing stretch-a-thons aren’t usually your racket, rookie guru, you’ll want to meditate ‘til your shattered spirit is renewed at the free…

Talkin’ ´Bout, Pop Music

Good pop music is addictive. So when the young group (seriously young folks, who might be playin’ at the club but they sure ain’t drinkin’ there) Manchester Orchestra decided to dedicate its collective post-high school years to perpetual touring (250 shows in 2007 alone), it didn’t have to resort to…

Country Con Carne

How do you eat your chili? Lots of folks think of chili as a chunky stew with ground beef, kidney beans, and a healthy dose of spicy chili powder. Texans, however, consider beans in their chili to be a capital offense. For them, it’s just meat, and braised chunks of…

Run, Throw, and Catch with the Big Dogs

The Super Bowl is coming. Seeing pro athletes in action makes you want to toss the ol’ pigskin around too, but sadly your buddies are too busy perfecting their legendary party dips to join you. Fortunately you’ve always had one friend who was never too tied up in his own…

Go on Shake it, Shake it! Shake That Healthy Butt!

Asheville, North Carolina’s Yo Mama’s Big Fat Booty Band’s name may summon thoughts of Wilmer Valderrama’s “Oh, Snap!” face (from MTV’s Yo Momma), but the band’s handle means more than mother-slaggin’ insults. Instead, YMBFBB’s moniker is a celebratory call to those with healthy-sized backsides (and the boney ones too, why…

Tiffany Lamps Are A Girl’s Best Friend

A 30-piece collection of Tiffany lamps, glassware, candlesticks, and desk sets go on display at the Boca Museum (501 Plaza Real, Boca Raton) today. Admittedly, “Tiffany Studios: The Holtzmann Collection” sounds boring, but the history behind this collection excites. The Tiffany lamp is the centerpiece of the exhibit; it’s also…

I Want Someone to Watch Standup With

For anyone who’s seen the HBO phenom Curb Your Enthusiasm, Jeff Garlin is instantly recognizable. He’s the hulking, jovial yes-man to Larry David; his agent, best friend, and partner-in-crime, all at once. Oh, the misadventures they get into. Remember when Larry got Jeff into hot water for unearthing his secret…

Don’t be a Slouch: Get Your Yoga On

During a yoga session, your body goes through metamorphosis. Granted, some of us experience a clunkier transition of shapes while others slip gracefully in and out of their postures, but the overall effect of springing from coils into lanky lengths remains the same: beautiful. Nobody knows that better than Edward…

I’ve Been Shot Down Before,

Imagine flying a Cessna – a tiny civilian airplane — across the Florida Straits only to find Cuban fighter jets scrambling to attack you, over international waters, no less. Sounds absurd—like most Cuban/American relations– but that’s what happened in 1996, as told in the documentary Shoot Down. In the mid…

Hot Deaf Lesbian Action

Lauren Feldman’s Fill Our Mouths is the story of Evan, an American married woman who falls in love with a deaf lesbian in Paris. Yes, I know, it’s ridiculous. People rightly squirm when so much PC potential finds its way into a single script. Characters with disabilities exploring alternative lifestyles…

That’s Where a Rat Can Glut, Glut, Glut, Glut!

Remember the scene in Charlotte’s Web where Templeton the Rat is let loose at the county fair and he breaks into song? Templeton eulogizes the carnival’s discarded, edible goods as “A Veritable Smorgasbord,” eating his way through forgotten watermelon rinds, soggy sandwiches, and, of course, gobs of other gorgeous gook…

Winners Ought to Quit

Three words for the Miami Heat: David Freakin’ Robinson. The Admiral, you’ll recall, was the future Hall of Fame center (and man with the most chiseled arms ever) who anchored the San Antonio Spurs for most of the ´90s, until he tweaked his back and later broke his foot (against…

Our top DVD picks scheduled for release this week:

Alex Haley’s Queen (Warner Bros.) Amazing Planet Earth (Questar) The Attic (Allumination) Be My Valentine, Charlie Brown (Warner Bros.) Breaker Morant (Image) Extras: The Complete Series (HBO) Dora the Explorer: Undercover Dora (Paramount) DragonLance: Dragons of the Autumn Twilight (Paramount) Good Luck Chuck (Lionsgate) In the Heat of the Night:…

Wookiee Mistake

Family Guy Presents: Blue Harvest (Fox) As someone with no use for Seth MacFarlane’s potty-mouthed Simpsons rip, I’ll admit to choking out a few giggles during his Star Wars send-up — though, truth be told, it’s slightly less daring than Spaceballs and, sure, Porn Wars. Stunningly faithful to the 30-year-old…

Life Stinks, Blah, Blah, Blah

I do think the writing is pessimistic — all that stuff about life being a tragic experience,” says Angela Stark (played by newcomer Hayley Atwell) early in Woody Allen’s Cassandra’s Dream. An actress talking about the play she’s appearing in at a small London theater, Stark could just as well…

Chick Flick, Two Ways

If Diane Keaton were a comer in 2007, she’d likely be stuck in romantic comedies cooked up in movie-studio test kitchens. No Godfather for her. No Annie Hall, no Shoot the Moon, no Reds. Filmmakers who now use Katherine Heigl as their go-to girl would be flummoxed by the willowy…

Lukewarm Gun

Unreal Tournament III is ideal for overcaffeinated teenage boys with PlayStation 3s, broadband internet connections, extensive online friend lists, hours and hours of time to blow, and — just for good measure — a deep appreciation of the steroid-addled dystopian sci-fi aesthetic. You know, the one where men are 450…