“Grass” is IN the Name!

You couldn’t afford the Jam Cruise. Originally you planned to go, but then that rockin’ blueberry bud crop came into town and — wouldn’tcha know, you wound up short for port fees! No worries, little stoner. While Saturday’s Open Grass Music Festival is landlocked and thus forced to comply with…

Fie, Standard Definition, Fie!

Here’s the thing about HDTV: Once you take the step towards that enormous set and each one of its beautiful 1,080 lines of resolution, you’re spoiled for regular TV forever. Shoot, you’re actually sort of spoiled for real life. Nothing looks as good to you anymore – be it live…

Jorge’s in the House

“Jorge Pardo: House,” now at the Museum of Contemporary Art (MoCA) in North Miami, is the sort of show that’s likely to divide museumgoers into two camps: those who will emerge stroking their chins and going “Hmmm… interesting” and those who will be left scratching their heads and going “Huh?”…

A Painter’s Prints: John Alexander Retrospective

“A Painter’s Prints: John Alexander Retrospective” provides a quickie tour of the artist’s work from 1974 to 2006. In his early years, the expressionist era, the lines of Alexander’s work explode outward and slice across one another as the images consistently confront our mortality. In Feast Fit for a King,…

20 Years of Being Fair

If you see kids vandalizing a Cadillac downtown this weekend, hopefully they’re the ones with water-based paint: The car company asked them to decorate as part of a Las Olas Art Fair exhibit. (If the Caddy is yours, however, you have legitimate reason for concern.) Yep, this extravaganza has come…

Akemashite Omedeto Gozaimasu!

Here in the States, we’ve got a funny way of approaching the new year: Instead of stopping to digest the good that came our way over the past year, we focus on what we’ve done poorly and resolve to “fix” it. (Note to self: Eat less, exercise more. Make actual…

Step Away From the Pajamas

It’s a helluva dry spell since that the blasted writers strike started; we’re suffering a collective case of television blue balls. Thankfully one of the most avidly followed shows on cable will start a new season on Sunday night, regardless. And while there will be parties all across the country…

Stop the Shopocalypse

This scenario is repeated each year by families all across America: Tired from the endless onslaught of Christmas commercialism, sons and daughters and parents pledge to buy less, give more, and separate themselves from the juggernaut of holiday shopping. But we all know those pledges never take hold. The Power…

Rock’s Role

Standing up to jingoism – that’s Chris Rock territory. So it’s not too far fetched to see his little brother Tony Rock take it on as well. “Everyone in this country is here illegally,” Tony joked on Def Comedy Jam. “Even the white people. They just killed off all the…

For Whom the Gong Tolls

What has power to mesmerize you quicker than the Chinese circus? Nothing, of course. Where else would you see ten people pile on a moving bicycle or steal a peek at a 90-pound man running on his hands? Expect dancing dragons, serious body contortions, flips, flops, juggling, dangling, improbable acts…

High Fashion Meets High Art

It’s easy to see why Americans are so obsessed with (ahem, baffled by) high fashion. To start with, the extravagance is perplexing. Who would go to Chili’s or T.G.I. Friday’s in those fancy runways clothes, even if they could afford them? (Not to mention that a size may be…

Welcome to the Jungle

While cities expand, asphalt spreads, threatening to blanket the entire surface of the globe and leading us to this great conundrum: Why do we pursue order and power over nature while simultaneously longing for chaos? As more terrain is conquered in the name of progress, we romanticize those untamed regions…

Searching for Swank

It’s late. While sitting on your beige leather sofa, fiddling with the cherry in your Manhattan, you think, “My life is missing something.” Then it comes to you: You’re missing Neil Sedaka performing “Laughter in the Rain,” complete with strings and groovy backup chicks, circa 1975. This is a very…

Quick! Activate Star Power!

There have been a lot of stellar video games released over the years, but none of them cause quite as much division among people as the Guitar Hero series. If you’re a fan of the game, it’s not enough to just enjoy playing it occasionally. You have to be devoted…

Board Games, the Undead, and You

Here’s the thing about musicals: They can’t be all brass and balls. Not every number is going to be as inspiring as the last, and sometimes a show full of stale duds can be saved by one climactic song at the right moment. Back in the old days, theaters would…

You Might Need Advil

Nothing beats huddling on Main Street for the annual holiday parade. There’s something magical about the roar of snazzy snare drums, the pounding of marching ensembles, and the fluttering sound-splash of warp-speed trumpeting. Since you’ve only witnessed musical pageantry of this caliber resonating from the asphalt to the stratosphere, you…

How Things Should Be

The closing football game of the Orange Bowl’s regular season was more reminiscent of that Ned Beatty scene from Deliverance than a day with a pigskin. Fortunately, today’s FedEx Orange Bowl promises to be better. And by better, I mean totally badass. The Virginia Tech Hokies face off against the…

Fire Your Wedding Planner

People have always said that your wedding day will be the most wonderful day of your life. Of course, what they casually omit from that fable are all of the labor intensive days leading up to the magical moment. Who knew there would be so much stress involved? Do yourself…

Take My Daughter. Please!

Let’s pretend we’ve learned Beauty and the Beast’s valuable life lesson: that beauty is only skin deep, despite our culture’s obsession with glorifying good looks above all else. That nugget of knowledge gained doesn’t excuse the most disturbing part of the B & B story, which coincidentally doesn’t involve vanity…

Frank the Tank

Plenty of musical acts owe their careers, in whole or in part, to a name that rides the success of a predecessor. No less than the Rolling Stones were named for the Muddy Waters song “Rollin’ Stone”; the Hank Williams sequels benefit from their Roman numerals, even as Jr. sings…

Mingle with the Gods

The gods have been dropping by to interfere in mortals’ lives for centuries. Zeus used his super-power prowess to knock up half of Greece’s mortal women, leaving bastard god/human love children all over the city. Eventually you couldn’t walk down Athens Ave. without tripping over a Heracles or a Perseus…

Out, Out, Young Sprout

There’s no denying it: Most Westerners have, at some point, snuck a glance at David’s twig-and-berries. The statue by Michelangelo is famous for many reasons, but mostly David’s uncircumcised phallus and delicate balls are focal points. The Catholic Church understood the allure of naked statues — that’s why, during the…