Farrelly Mediocre

Remember the Farrelly brothers? Makers of Dumb and Dumber and There’s Something About Mary? Known for crossing the line of good taste and making fun of the differently abled, but with a sufficiently sweet streak that they could be forgiven for such? Kinda popular until Trey Parker and Matt Stone…

A Fan’s Notes

This being the end of the year, and since none of the people I wanted to write about this week felt it necessary to return any of my calls, from the leftover heap comes this collection of random topics I considered tackling this year but lost interest in after 200…

My Very Old Havana

Change is a funny thing. Some of it is dramatic, embodied in single moments — a wedding, a birth, a terrorist attack. But a whole lot of change happens incrementally, so slowly that it isn’t noticed until after the fact. These thoughts may come to mind when contemplating the Coconut…

D’oh!

By now, it is almost impossible to fathom the collective impression The Simpsons has made on Western culture. The word d’oh now appears in the Unabridged Oxford English Dictionary. Embattled British Prime Minister Tony Blair recently appeared on an episode, perhaps hoping such a move would provide the opposite effect…

This Week’s Day-by-Day Picks

THU 12/4 So-called “futurists” must have the easiest job in the world. All you do is sit around and think about what the future will be like someday, and 90 percent of the time, you’re dead wrong. Consider the ideas of the future that sprouted in the atomic ’50s –…

Sweatin’ to the Oldies

“Guess what? I got a fever! And the only prescription… is more cowbell!” Those immortal words spilled from the mouth of Christopher Walken as Bruce Dickinson, Blue Öyster Cult’s producer, during the now-famous Saturday Night Live skit in which Will Ferrell’s overenthusiastic playing of the instrument in question threatened to…

Glory of War

SAT 12/6 To politicians, war is an extension of diplomacy. It is a tool to wheel out when other avenues of negotiation do not provide acceptable results. To professional soldiers, war is the study and execution of tactics to complete a broader strategy. Both politicos and military planners define war…

Luvin’ It

SAT 12/6 How would you like to see some great tennis, rub elbows with tons of celebrities and topnotch athletes, and see and be seen with all the beautiful people? Well, that type of thing is happening in Delray Beach this weekend. The Chris Evert Celebrity Tennis Classic to benefit…

Goin’ Nuts

FRI 12/5 The Chocolate Nutcracker is an adaptation of the holiday classic, with a twist. More than ten years ago, playwright LaVerne Reed wrote the play as an alternative to the original, which, let’s face it, gets old after you’ve seen it 15 times. This story takes place in the…

Surreal Estate

TUE 12/9 In the mid-1990s, art people swooned over Inka Essenhigh and her fantastic use of high-gloss enamel paints, touting her as an innovator who would help revitalize painting. The young artist had a curious response to the critical adoration: She switched to oils. In doing so, Essenhigh proved that…

Roll with Her, Henry

SUN 12/7 When the New Times fax machine, which never sleeps or eats, always on guard for the next stunning press release, vomited up a notice that Etta James and the Roots were playing Old School Square (51 N. Swinton Ave., Delray Beach) at 7 p.m. Sunday, we had to…

The S Word

Bad Santa, in which Billy Bob Thornton plays a drunken department-store Santa who repeatedly swears at children, pisses himself publicly, chain-smokes like an industrial plant, and cracks safes on Christmas Eve, is the least sentimental holiday release ever made. No one is redeemed, no one comes to believe in the…

Get Real

Her bedroom walls are plastered with pinups of Rita Hayworth, Betty Grable, and Audrey Hepburn. She dresses in evening gowns, sweater sets, and silk scarves tied at her chin. Her hair is set with rollers. Her heart is set on song. Her name is Billie Golden (Isabel Rose), and she’s…

Tomorrow Never Dies

The holidays are upon us, and with them comes the annual choice of whether to surrender to or resist their cheery traditions. Clearly intent on your surrender, the Actors’ Playhouse in Coral Gables is presenting Annie, a big traditional musical staged in a big traditional way. But whereas past holiday…

Diving for Dreams

If you’ve never visited the International Game Fish Association (IGFA) Fishing Hall of Fame and Museum, you should, even if you’re not a fishing enthusiast. Earlier this year, I took some visiting relatives, outdoorsy types, and was pleasantly surprised. I already knew the architecture was striking — you can see…

Comics from the Front

Maybe you know the feeling. Maybe it struck you one morning as you stared in the mirror before trundling off to the job you hate, or maybe it hit you so hard one night it woke you from your sleep like a prowler in the bedroom. It’s that feeling of:…

Sacred Science

Religion and science are, to say the least, not the best of friends. You’ve got creationism versus evolution, the stem-cell controversy, and don’t even get either side started on abortion. It would seem as if there’s little room to reach consensus between the spiritual and the scientific, but Peruvian-born, Miami-based…

This Week’s Day-by-Day Picks

THU 11/27 If you can’t stand the heat today, get out of the kitchen — literally. There are a few Broward County establishments sympathetic to the plight of the lazy and the poultry-challenged. 15th Street Fisheries (1900 SE 15th St., Fort Lauderdale) offers turkey, soup, salad, potatoes, and sorbet for…

It’s Buy Nothing Day!

Resist the hypnotic marketing onslaught that leads turkey-bloated Americans into malls on the day after Thanksgiving. Instead, celebrate Buy Nothing Day with random acts of anticonsumerism. Established 10 years ago by the Adbusters Media Foundation (www.adbusters.org), this campaign points out that the world’s most pressing problems — environmental destruction, exploitation…

Finders Keepers

SAT 11/29 The typical scavenger hunt usually involves searching through some hidden backwoods area for ostensibly “unique” items (i.e., junk you can find in a thrift store). But anyone attending the third-annual “Art Scavenger Hunt” throughout Fort Lauderdale’s Himmarshee Village will find a much more colorful mix of treasures hidden…

Pumping Up Hialeah

SAT 11/29 Musclemen are suddenly en vogue. California’s governor is a veteran iron pumper, as is the head man in Minnesota. And take a look at major league baseball. Guys built like Bonds and Giambi are on every roster. Think Sammy needed to cork his bat to hit more jacks?…

Feline in the Fedora

FRI 11/28 Come one, come all, to the Children’s Museum!/There’s games and displays and other things — you can see ’em!/At 1:30 p.m. on Friday, the Cat in the Hat comes by/To give children some fun, a twinkle in his eye/The kids on hand will get the right stuff/To make…