For those unfortunate souls who have not yet had the Two Story Double Wide experience, the first thing you’ll need to know is that they are the rootinest-tootinest band you’ll witness ’round these parts. And the fact that they live in your backyard means you have no excuses. Here’s what…
That’s right, fuck ’em. What did they ever do for us? 2-for-1 Sex on the Beach shots? Touched by an Angel? The Simple Life 2? It’s enough to make anyone want to claw their eyes out. With that in mind, the brains behind the monthly 100% Artcore night at Karma…
Let’s see if we can get through a discussion of Doug E. Fresh, Slick Rick and Biz Markie without using the phrase “old school.” These masters from the earliest days of commercial rap each broke boundaries. Fresh brought beat boxing — that look-Ma-no-hands skill of dropping beats with one’s mouth…
Whitney and Britney call him Mr. Vicious When you’re a DJ starting out, you’re gonna fuck up. Your flow won’t be that tight. People will just stand around when you’re spinning. Some drunk guy will knock into your two turntables and microphone, and the record will skip. Ouch. Party over…
The following exchange took place between two young women at Dicey Riley’s, 217 SW Second St., Fort Lauderdale: Woman #1: Sometimes I feel like a gay man. Woman #2: Sometimes I do too, except I have to lug around this big vagina…
The scene at downtown Fort Lauderdale’s Poor House on any given Friday or Saturday night is familiar. Young men and women pile into the club’s close quarters to hear the band and unwind. People sit at the bar and swap stories while a handful of tipsy patrons spills out into…
Bright beams of colored light swirl and sweep across the crowded dance floor, illuminating sweaty, muscular bodies. The relentless bass is more than just loud; it’s a full-body massage at 130 beats per minute. Neon green go-go dancers gyrate wildly on elevated platforms as artificial fog wafts around the room…
The Beastie Boys’ first three albums each redefined pop music, and Ad Rock, Mike D, and MCA haven’t known what to do since. Ill Communication simply copied the sarcastic, live hip-hop of Check Your Head and wound up perfectly in sync with the Lollapalooza zeitgeist, but the electronic experimentation of…
Further distinguishing themselves from their laptop-addled colleagues, the Chapel of Keith Tenniswood and Andrew Weatherhall sees the duo veer from gently batting the electronic template to an all-out smackdown. Whereas they were once immersed in the synthesis of their gadgets on 2000’s Tiny Reminders, Two Lone Swordsmen dust off the…
Take a high school band from suburban Australia, lock it in a recording studio with records by Belle & Sebastian, Brigitte Bardot, and the Beach Boys, then give its members only sugary snacks to subsist upon and you might come up with Architecture in Helsinki’s debut CD, Fingers Crossed. While…
Dear Partnership for a Drug-Free America, Here is my treatment for a future advertisement: We start with a close-up of a hot, butter-coated FRYING PAN. There is NO SOUND. We see two hands crack a couple of EGGS, which splash and sizzle on the skillet as we fade up VELVET…
Ever heard the old saying, “You can’t polish a turd?” These are the exact words I would have spoken to the incomparable Butch Walker before he signed on as producer of this record. He did a damn good job on the production end — as good as one could do,…
Lefty Lucie Lefty Lucie (self-released) Lefty Lucie is a five-piece from Broward County, fronted by singer Lucie Wood. The debut self-titled EP is four songs of breezy, chiming guitars and drums backing Wood¹s charming, sultry vocals. So what¹s up with the band¹s name? Is it a nod to leftist politics?…
It turns out the funniest Onion-esque fake news story penned so far this year did not spring from the Onion. No, Sub Pop Records — a concern not ordinarily known for its forays into satire and comedy writing — deserves full credit for “Pitchfork Staff Member Says ‘Hi’ to Real-Life…
DJ Icey Despite his name, DJ Icey is a Florida native who was nurtured in the booming mid-’90s Orlando electronic scene. Yes, those were the days when raves were all the rage. But when the dance scene in Florida briefly froze over in the late ’90s, Icey took his tour…
The following exchange took place between a young man and a young woman at the bar at the Poor House, 110 SW Third Ave., Fort Lauderdale. Who says romance is dead? Man: How come I never see you here with anyone? Woman: Umm… don’t know. Man: Well, I just want…
The Rocket Summer A few years ago, the phrase “I’m a singer-songwriter” could kill a conversation faster than a joke about the handicapped. But now, it’s making a comeback, thanks in part to musicians like Bryce Avary, a.k.a. the Rocket Summer. Armed with a guitar and a dream, the 20-year-old…
Thee Academy For anyone who wants to relive the horrors of private school — rulers wrapping your knuckles, rulers measuring the length of your skirt, you being denied pudding if you don’t eat your meat — then get thee to Thee Academy. This new monthly Brit-pop dance party has a…
Josh Wink Listening to Josh Wink is like being kidnapped by the ice cream man. First, he draws you out with some lush, curious sounds. Then, he snatches you up and pumps you full of ear sugar. A voice-mail message of someone saying “Are you there?” over and over could…
Check out Gravy Train!!!!, the Vanishing, and Quintron and Miss Pussycat at 10 p.m. Saturday, July 3, at I/O Lounge, 30 NE 14th St., Miami. Call 305-358-8007.
You may have noticed Ndakhte Ndiaye cruising around in her Honda Element with its “DJEMBE” license plate, dressed in long loose-fitting gowns called boubous from her native Senegal. You may have seen the dozens of long brown braids — interwoven with bright blue and yellow stripes — that tumble down…
So, until we meet again, remember: Don’t take yourselves too seriously. Leave that to the all-important Billy Corgan.” That declaration comes courtesy of the Aquabats’ “Bat Commander” Christian Jacobs via the band’s website — which Jacobs apparently hasn’t visited in a while. “I don’t remember who wrote that,” he says,…
