Nudists: We Didn’t Break Guinness World Record for Skinny Dip

Bummer — according to a newsletter from the Florida Naturist Society, the group’s November 3 attempt to break the Guinness World Record for most skinny dippers at a single location — Haulover Beach — did not work. Although the group had 805 dippers registered and told the Miami Herald on…

Lindsay Lohan Allegedly Had Paris Hilton’s Brother Beaten Up

Lindsay Lohan apparently ordered someone to beat up Paris Hilton’s brother Barron Hilton, because Barron apparently said some mean things about Lindsay, and now Paris has sworn to get revenge on Lindsay over the whole thing, and yes, this is real life. According a report, Lohan was in Miami Beach…

Short-Finned Pilot Whales May Have Moved Into Deeper Waters

Some of the short-finned pilot whales that had stranded themselves in Florida’s Everglades National Park earlier this week may have swam into deeper waters, according to the Coast Guard. About 20 or so whales of the 40 that had stranded themselves were missing on Friday morning, leading officials to believe…

Greyhound Racing Decoupling To Be Decided By Senate Gaming Committee

On Monday, the Senate Gaming Committee will be meeting in Tallahassee to hear public and industry reactions to gaming and gambling issues, including greyhound racing. Grey2K USA, a non-profit organization dedicated to ending the cruelty of greyhound racing, is asking greyhound lovers, dog lovers, and animal lovers of all kinds…

New Times Looking for an Editorial Assistant: Apply Now!

Miami New Times has an immediate opening for an editorial assistant. This entry-level position is perfect for an organized self-starter who derives satisfaction from handling multiple tasks and working independently on long-term projects. Ideal candidates will have a college degree; excellent organizational and communication skills; computer, grammar and math proficiency;…

64 Percent of the Jobs Openings in Florida Suck, Study Finds

Bad news out there for Florida job seekers: according some new number crunching, the Sunshine state is seriously lacking in jobs that pay a living wage. The findings show that for every 13 people looking for good work, there’s one position that pays $16.84. The statistics complied by a Seattle-based…

Boca Woman Shoots Boyfriend While Play-Acting With Gun

A Boca woman was playing with a gun she didn’t realize was loaded when she shot and killed her boyfriend, according to police. Erin Steele, 20, and her boyfriend, Justin Holt, 22, were hanging out with a couple of friends when a fourth friend, Joshua Henry, showed up with a…

Willie Nelson Cancels SeaWorld Concert

First, the Barenaked Ladies, now the pigtailed man. About a week ago, the Barenaked Ladies cancelled their scheduled show at SeaWorld in order to protest the treatment of orcas in captivity. Willie Nelson has also cancelled a show at the theme park. A spokesperson at SeaWorld told New Times that…

Five Worst Twitter Reactions to the Jameis Winston Case

As it is with an high-profile and controversial case, the news that FSU quarterback Jameis Winston would not be charged of sexual assault solicited a lot of different reactions. Most notably, on Twitter, which seems to be the go-to place to witness the troglodytic bottom feeders of the human race…

$18 Million Worth of Cocaine Snagged Off Florida Coast

Ah, Florida. Another day, another crapload of cocaine washing up in our waters. This time, however, the cocaine didn’t just appear out of nowhere. This load was caught in a Coast Guard Operation off the Gulf of Mexico. And the op, called Operation Martillo — Operation Hammer! — yielded more…

David Lee Edwards, Powerball Winner, Dies Broke In Hospice

David Lee Edwards, the ex-felon from Kentucky who won the $27 million Powerball in 2001, has died broke, and in hospice, reports the Daily Mail. As reported by New Times in 2007, Edwards had managed to blow his entire fortune within just five years. He and his wife Shawna went…

Today: Supreme Court Hearing on Medical Marijuana

Today is pretty much Super Bowl Sunday for the medical marijuana issues here in Florida, at least for the next year. The state Supreme Court is scheduled to hear arguments Thursday over the 75 words proponents want to include on next year’s ballot, an initiative that would open the doors…

The Cult of Lloyd Irvin

They’ll tell you they weren’t scared. They were just sick of the stories, sick of the escalating pressure, sick of the dark cloud that hung over the school and seemed to be growing by the day. But calm and collected people don’t abruptly pack their belongings and hitch rides to…

Jameis Winston Blitzed by Crazy Lawsuit

This has been a year of great uncertainty for Jameis Winston. The freshman quarterback might lead Florida State to a national championship. He might win a Heisman trophy. And, of course, he might end up in prison after being accused of rape. One thing Winston almost certainly did not do,…