Baby Turtle Taking Its Long Journey on Florida Beach

The Daily Look At This! is our daily video and/or GIF of the day.We usually like to reserve The Daily Look At This! for funny, sardonic, humorous GIFs and/or videos.But then we came across this photo today and thought HOLY SMOKES LOOK AT HOW FIRGGIN CUTE THIS TINY BABY TURTLE…

FAU’s Football Stadium Sponsored by Prison

Florida Atlantic University has finally sold the naming rights to its football stadium. FAU and the GEO Group are set to finalize a deal on Tuesday to let the company have the naming rights. The GEO Group, which was founded by George Zoley, who received his bachelor’s and master’s at…

Marco Rubio Rejects His Own Immigration Proposal, Because of Barack Obama

Shining Beacon of Light Marco Rubio called President Obama’s first draft on immigration reform “dead on arrival” yesterday, saying that the president’s bill “repeats the failures of past legislation” and that the bill will die as soon as it enters the hallowed halls of Congress just like every past, present,…

Tim Tebow to Speak at Gay-Hating Reverend’s Church

Former Florida Gator star quarterback and God’s favorite football player, Tim Tebow, will be doing that thing where he talks about how Jesus is his homeboy at the First Baptist Dallas Church on April 28. And that’s cool, if you’re into that sort of thing. Problem is, the First Baptist…

Anonymous Hacked Burger King Twitter Yesterday Because of Horse Meat

The hacker group Anonymous — that sallow group of individuals ensconced somewhere in their parents’ basements — yesterday took down the King of Burgers. Sometime in the afternoon, Anonymous assumed control of Burger King’s Twitter feed, putting up a McDonald’s logo, tweeting that the company had been sold to McDonald’s,…

Michael Lohan Is Publishing Memoir, Has Moved to Boca

Yesterday, Michael Lohan (father of Lindsay) announced that he would be publishing his memoir, “I’m Not Your Daddy Dearest … If I Can Turn My Life Around, So Can You.”We caught up with him via phone as he was on his way to the Boca Raton office of TransMedia public…

Alleged Manatee Molester Cuddles With Animal, Lets Kids Ride It

Last October, we told you about Ana Gloria Garcia-Gutierrez, the Pinellas County woman who was arrested for hopping on top of a manatee and riding it like it was a horse. See also: -Accused Manatee Molester Is on the Loose in St. Petersburg -Manatee Molester Ana Gloria Garcia-Gutierrez Arrested And now…

West Palm Beach Named ‘Preserve America Community’

High five, West Palm Beach! The First Lady, Michelle Obama, has just named you a Preserve America Community — a federally funded program that recognizes communities for their work in enhancing heritage. Mrs. Obama sent a letter congratulating West Palm residents for their “vision and dedication.” This now makes West…

Rick Scott Dancing Is Nightmare Fuel

The Daily Look At This! is our daily video and/or GIF of the day. Rick Scott stopped into an elementary school music class last week and then proceeded to dance a creepy jig as the students played their instruments. You can watch the video here. But we figured the above…

UM Hurricane Watch: Men’s Basketball Edges Up Again in AP Poll

The Miami Hurricanes are now the second-best college hoops program in the country. Better than Duke, UNC, Florida, Louisville, and all the other usual suspects, according to a hot-off-the-press AP poll.  Does that sound weird to you? All season, Jim Larranaga’s senior-hearty squad has been defying expectations, particularly on the…

Florida Couple Getting Amorous in Car Drive Into Someone’s House

Asia Walker and her boyfriend, Charles Phillips, were driving down Continental Drive, near Nova Road and LPGA Boulevard in Daytona Beach, at 5:30 in the morning when they decided it was a good time to start making out and getting superaffectionate with each other. And you’ll be shocked to learn…

Marco Rubio Sells Water Bottles, Raises More Than $100,000

Marco Rubio reeeaalllyyy wants you to to see that he triumphs over embarrassing this shit out of himself on live-national television in front of millions of viewers tragedy with this whole thirsty talking guy fiasco from last week. First he tweeted out a photo of his Poland Spring water bottle…

Propagandapalooza: Koch Bros. Festival on Las Olas for Spring Break

A bouquet of reactionaries and crackpots will blossom at a “Freedom Academy” on Las Olas Boulevard in Fort Lauderdale on March 9. They’ll be there to explain why the “foundations of liberty” rest on the ability of corporations to rape the environment and bust up unions, enriching the rich and…

Proposed Everglades Pathway: A Waste of Resources

Late last week, a great call went out among the bureaucracies to assemble behind an apparently innocuous, win-win plan: an automobile-free pathway cutting through the Everglades so that walkers and bikers can enjoy the quiet beauty of the park without concern. Who could be against that? It was perfect PR…

Obama and Tiger Woods Play Round of Golf in Palm City

Being president is tough. You have to fix everything, congress is constantly blocking every decision you make, and people and news networks accuse you of being a dirty socialist tyrant all the live long day. But then you also get to play golf with Tiger Woods, so it all evens…

Florida Couple Requested Ninja for Wedding Last Weekend

Floridians, you wonderfully crazy bastards, what will you do next?Look, we all know that the by-the-books approach to nuptials is nice in a kind of vanilla ice cream sort of way… but really, if you’ve seen one of those, you’ve seen them all. Sometimes, the bold among us steer their…

Freeze Watch For Parts of Broward and Palm Beach This Weekend

Time to bust out the heavy clothes, scarves and all that useless winter crap you thought you’d never get to use, Florida. It’s about to get cold up in hurrrrr. The National Weather Service has issued a freeze watch for western Broward and Palm Beach counties this weekend, starting Saturday…

Chris Bosh Selected As All-Star Starter

The NBA All-Star game is about to get really dinosaury, because Erik Spoelstra has chosen Chris Bosh to start for the Eastern Conference All-Star squad. With Boston’s Rajon Rondo being out with an injury, a fifth and final slot was open. Debate immediately began on who Spoelstra should start in Rondo’s…

Russian Meteor Explosion Videos

The Daily Look At This! is our daily video and/or GIF of the day. Scientists believe that a possible meteor that might have hit Florida was likely 100 feet across and incinerated trees, animals and pretty much any living thing around it with its impact and insane heat. That probably…

Florida Cop Threatened To Feed Man to Alligators

Broward County resident Jessie Merchant was allegedly running in and out of traffic in Weston and generally being a nuisance when cops were called in to calm him down and remove him from the scene. Broward Sheriff’s deputy, Alan Dubinski, showed up and gave Merchant a stern warning to leave…

Keys Hospitals Submerged by Climate Change, Legislators Told

They were asked not to politicize the issue. And so far, they’ve succeeded. State legislators both Dem and GOP from throughout South Florida gathered this week to educate themselves (and the public, who can watch it here) on climate change, its impact on our region and what, if anything, can…

LeBron James and the Heat Smash the OKC Thunder 110-100

The Oklahoma City Thunder are among the best, most dangerous teams in the NBA. Particularly on their home floor, where they storm the court like bloodthirsty grizzly bears, frothing at the mouth, scoring at will, and laying waste NBA teams that dare walk onto Chesapeake Energy Arena to take them…