Mary Patricia Maloney, a seventh-grade science teacher at Palm Springs Middle School, was pulled over on Sunday after she hit another car and fled. The officer initially charged her with DUI, since she was not only allegedly driving drunk but crashed into another vehicle before fleeing the scene. Maloney tried…
Cops are on the lookout for a crafty Walgreens robber who very nearly foiled their search. Since police have highly scientific ways in which to track a thief down by means of obtaining fingerprints left at the scene of the crime, this robber thought ahead and brought himself a glove…
For the few hundred hunters who showed up Saturday for day one of the 2013 Python Challenge, it was a day of high excitement and little payoff, at least according to the numbers beamed out of the Glades on Saturday night. The kickoff party — and really the good-time atmosphere…
With Republicans foundering amid fiscal-cliff apoplexy and John Boehner looking more bewildered by the day, Marco Rubio, in a sharp departure from earlier hard-line immigration positions, said yesterday he’s in favor of a pathway to citizenship. Wait, wait, wait. Actually, what he said was: “The best way to deal with…
It’s easy to think of Florida homeboy and 11-time world champion surfer Kelly Slater as an easygoing, all-natural bro who alternates between charging waves and lounging in the Hawaiian rainforest. But he’s also a multimillionaire and a corporate animal, having an admitted affinity for golf and driving untold sales at…
Ana Ovando, a 42-year-old West Palm Beach mother, was sentenced to 78 months in prison, followed by three years of supervised release, for using her kids in staged car crashes to make cash. Ovando used her five children — aged 3 to 17 — during three separate staged accidents that…
It’s official. The lionfish have arrived. While fishing off the Naples shoreline, an angler snagged a 16-pounder last week. The fish originally made its first appearance in the waters off the Florida Keys in 2009. Now, it appears to be spreading. Native to the Indian and Pacific oceans, lionfish have…
Thousands of people decided to spend their weekend standing in long lines at the Fort Lauderdale War Memorial that stretched out into the parking lot so they can look at guns and then buy them. The annual Suncoast Gun Show was held on Saturday and Sunday, and people came in…
Remember when the Florida Marlins were all, if y’all don’t give us millions and millions, we’re just gonna go ahead and take our ballclub somewhere else, and the City of Miami was all, nooooo here ya go! and then threw millions and millions at the Marlins and now taxpayers are…
We’re not sure which phrase best describes the Max Planck Institute’s response to our questions about its treatment of the hundreds of animals it holds captive and on whose nervous systems it experiments. Perhaps “Nothing to see here. Move along.” Or “We ask the questions.” We’re not happy with either.See…
The remains uncovered at the home of Brittney Sierra, 21, and Calvin Melvin Jr., 27, are being called “consistent with that of a small child or infant” by authorities and will undergo DNA testing Saturday for positive identification. The search for the missing 2-year-old son of Sierra and Melvin, meanwhile,…
Last month, seemingly overnight, thousands of razorbills arrived all along the Florida peninsula in what appeared to be a sweeping abandonment of the Northern tundra for something a little nicer. They flocked along Fort Lauderdale’s beaches, swimming in the waters of Boynton Beach, delighting bird watchers — and, finally, dying…
The possible remains of an 18-month-old boy who has been missing since July of 2011, have been found at the home of his two parents, authorities say.The parents, Brittney Sierra, 21, and Calvin Melvin Jr., 27, were arrested on child neglect charges. According to Hallandale Beach Chief of Police Dwayne…
The Florida Division of Alcoholic Beverages and Tobacco wanted to nab themselves a moonshiner. Because moonshiners are apparently still a thing in the 21st Century. (This is Florida, after all) So they placed a fake ad on the most obvious place a moonshiner would look. Craigslist! “Looking for some strong moonshine,”…
Lisa Frink allegedly cut her boyfriend with a pair of knives because he didn’t want to give her his government assistance card to buy food. The cops were called in to quell the domestic disturbance. But when they tried to arrest Frink, she went into full defense mode. She did…
Shootings. Death. College professors spewing out conspiracy theories. People masturbating in coffee shops. There just aren’t ever enough good things to report ’round here. UNTIL NOW…
Amazing to think, but Floridians have been not winning the Florida Lottery for 25 years now. So, to commemorate a quarter of a century of billboards promising millions, and stops to the gas station for a few dozen quick picks purchases, the lottery is going all Miami Dolphins on us…
It was not as thrilling as, perhaps, the sight of Dick Cheney on trial for war crimes, but Wednesday’s meeting of the South Florida chapter of weepoid conspiracy monger Glenn Beck’s 9-12 movement was quite the satisfying experience. This was particularly so as they met under the looming shadow of…
The local personalities, egos, and public figures who swung through the news cycle this week, ranked by New Times’ crack research department using a highly scientific algorithm (i.e., walking down South Beach last Monday night, calculating the ratio of weeping Irishmen compared with redneck testicles, multiplied to the Nth degree,…
Newly minted Broward Sheriff Scott Israel isn’t screwing around. First he gets into office and starts firing people willy-nilly, and now this. Israel has suspended Broward Sheriff’s Officers Lt. Dave Benjamin and Det. Jeff Poole. The reason for the suspensions: The Scott Rothstein effect…
Meris Kott has a thing for gold. The Boca Raton woman wonders if her daughter would like gold for her birthday. She studies gold use in other countries. She’s got one of those old-timed gold obsessions we hear about in stories — in which pirates whisper there be GOLD –…
Something about Starbucks that makes Floridians want to uncontrollably play with themselves. Back in November, we told you about a woman who had been arrested in Bradenton for masturbating inside a Starbucks. Now comes the news that a man was arrested for exposing himself and touching himself inside a Osceola…
