This is my second and last newspaper article. That’s because I, Greg O’Shube, am entirely made up, as was every fact and detail of my first article. It appeared in last week’s edition of New Times (“Anarchy in a Briefcase,” November 20), claiming that antiglobalization anarchists were planning a major…
The acronym used by North Broward Hospital District staff for the $32 million medical office building project — “MOB” — says it all. Meyer Lansky would have been proud. As I wrote here November 6, the publicly funded district intends to pay a few big-wheel developers $170 million over 55…
Norman steps out of the deep freeze: Even though I have been enjoying Bob Norman’s articles, I was ready to write and ask him to revisit the bloody mess in Iraq. (I think you guys call it “war”; since English is not my first language, I call it as I…
Francine Katz is not happy. The 68-year-old Jewish matchmaker sits at her dining room table in Miami Beach, leafing through her big black date book. She shuffles through printouts of a 45-year-old divorcee looking for someone who is great with kids, a 28-year-old Hasidic man looking for a woman willing…
Steve Rosen owns a motorcycle, a jet plane, and a black Corvette. Even when he is not in a vehicle, the 52-year-old dentist is always moving. On the road, he likes to lead, but he’s a bitch to follow. He alternately presses hard on the gas pedal, then forces down…
None of the rallies in Miami to protest the Free Trade Area of the Americas (FTAA) summit can rival what’s supposed to come next. Anarchists plan a massive infiltration of a Republican governors meeting that begins Thursday, November 20, in Boca Raton. Dozens of members of a radical organization will…
After several meetings with two local congressmen about the Iraq War, it’s time to unleash the transcript. Democratic Reps. Robert Wexler of Boca Raton and Peter Deutsch of Pembroke Pines revealed their most intimate thoughts during the sessions, though they thankfully stopped short of any discussion about their precious bodily…
All over Himmarshee, there were boys in white. The USS Ronald Reagan was docked in Port Everglades from November 11 to 14, which meant a three-day injection of about 2,000 horny men into Fort Lauderdale’s nightlife. Once, these uniformed chaps might have been enough to make girls swoon, but these…
Ann Sparks grabs a nightstick out of her 1995 Dodge Dakota pickup and hooks a leash to the collar of her not-very-nice-to-strangers black rottweiler/labrador mix, Tiger. She leaves her .38 at home. The 47-year-old Orlando-born businesswoman owns a home-cleaning firm with her mother, Shirley. She is dressed in a big,…
LRN is scum: Let me say that as a fan of reggae, I was pleased that you recognized a few facts about Jamaicans in South Florida (“Reggae-fyin’,” Rebecca Meiser, November 13). This is a group of immigrants that is making an impressive mark on our region, politically, culturally, and –…
Something unusual happened on Monday, September 9, 2002. Keith Gross was late for work. A 24-year-old with tanned white skin and brown hair cropped short on the sides, Gross was known around Kitchens to Go in Fort Lauderdale as a firebrand who spoke his mind. But during the five years…
Dayo stands with his hands on his hips, his white cotton Ralph Lauren T-shirt tucked into the band of his dressy black cargo pants. His feet, clad in a pair of red Adidas three-stripers, tap impatiently. It’s the second day of casting for the new Jamaican reggae video he’s directing,…
Peter Deutsch has been giving it to Miami-Dade Mayor Alex Penelas good. For the past few months, the Pembroke Pines congressman has been playing the Elliot Ness — or Eliot Spitzer, if you prefer — of the U.S. Senate race. Both Democrats, of course, are running for the Florida seat…
Who knew that the hand of fate was the kind of extremity that no hygienic person would want to touch? The crusty knuckled force had its way with me one recent Monday night about 9 p.m. when the Night Court mobile sputtered to a stop outside of Jiggles II strip…
Give New Times the key to the public treasury: I want to commend Chuck Strouse and Susan Eastman for their insightful November 6 article (“Bring Us the Ballpark”) about the myopia of Broward County leaders. The Marlins are the one team in South Florida that can bring tourists and locals…
Dr. Death is sweating like hell. His tree-trunk legs are planted on the wrestling-ring mat as he peers over the edge at a ruddy-faced 16-year-old named Travis. The 43-year-old’s face is leathery, and his mullet and carefully trimmed reddish beard are soaked with sweat. He’s slightly hunched forward, and his…
Miami is the past. Overdeveloped. Underclothed. Full of itself. It doesn’t deserve baseball. Broward and Palm Beach counties are the future. Forward-looking. More cosmopolitan. Their bases are loaded with billionaires. Club President Dave Samson is oblivious. Rename ’em the “Miami Marlins,” he says. The “economics don’t work” in Broward even…
Marla Somerstein, a 22-year-old Fort Lauderdale resident working in the finance department of the “Bob Graham for President” campaign, had just returned from Yom Kippur last month when she turned on Larry King Live. It was, in effect, that suspendered CNN blowhard who delivered Somerstein’s pink slip. Graham (“Dick Gephardt…
We’re being robbed blind — $100 million blind. That’s how much money a couple of politically connected developers stand to make on a medical office building they’re set to construct for the taxpayer-funded North Broward Hospital District. When the $30 million project near Broward General Hospital on South Andrews Avenue…
The dark side of the Sunshine State: I read Susan Eastman’s October 30 article (“Death and Doubts”) with interest and wanted to let you know one of Florida’s best-kept secrets. We have the highest rate of lynchings of black men in the union, per capita. Nothing like a little history…
Stephen shows me the digital face of his cell phone. It reads, “Evil Bitch.” “Misty put it on there,” the talkative bleach-blond said as he set the phone down next to a stack of singles. “That’s what she calls me.” We’re waiting, along with a few scattered groups in the…
It rained all night on May 27. Early the next morning, Henry Drummer and his wife, Bernice, stopped by the house of Bernice’s mother, Juanita Lumpkin, in southeast Belle Glade. Juanita had recently suffered a stroke. After checking on her mom, Bernice left $10 in bus fare so her 32-year-old…
