Polk City Rep. Neil Combee wants to let people fire warning shots if they are threatened, without fear of getting arrested for it. So, he filed a bill to make that a law. Combee’s bill is a response to Marissa Alexander, the 32-year-old African American mother of three who was…
A Hobe Sound man decided to do a shitload of cocaine around a bunch of alligators and then locked his keys in his car. All excellent ideas rolled into one! When the man realized he had locked his keys in his car, he had an even grander idea. In order…
A federal agent, apparently unhappy with the way a man was driving at the mall he was visiting, pulled out his gun and shot the man’s car. Seems like a legit and reasoned response. The agent, Angel Echevarria, a Department of Homeland Security special agent assigned to the U.S. Marshals…
Stone metaphors too numerous to name — a landslide of them? — came to mind when I learned that rightwing political hit man Roger Stone had joined Lotus land lefty director Oliver Stone in the JFK conspiracy corps. The rightwing Stone, a former Nixon confidante, has co-authored a new book…
Colonel Commie Hunter/Former Florida Congressman Allen West is out of a job. Again. And this time, it might be because he’s being accused of anti-Semitism. According to BuzzFeed, West is no longer at his right-wing gig at PJ Media after he allegedly got into an argument with a female employee,…
So let’s say you’re a twenty-something living in small town Florida, working at a local high school, with two daughters and a husband. Seems like the American dream until you realize you’re staring down the long barrel of a life that’s been led three gazillion times before. You panic. You…
It took a jury only five hours Thursday to weigh the evidence stacked against Rose Marks, the matriarch of a Fort Lauderdale Roma family accused of running a $25 million fraud. In what turned out to be a dramatic climax to the well publicized case, jurors found the psychic guilty…
Ah Florida. We have criminals, just like every other state. But we have our own special kind of criminal. Namely, dumb ones. And, because we’re never in short supply of dumb criminals, we present to you our latest series of the dumbest Florida criminals of the month. September was special…
So…. the real estate website Movoto has ranked the Best-Dressed small cities in America, and Boca Raton has come in at #2 on the list — beating even Miami! It’s not because of your grandma’s pink flamingo-print Lily Pulizer ensemble, but because of cold, hard real estate statistics. So, thanks…
The Florida Panthers officially have a new owner: New York businessman and bazillionare, Vincent Viola. The Associated Press is reporting that the Panthers have been sold for $240 million by Cliff Viner and Sunrise Sports & Entertainment to a group led by Viola. The team has yet to officially announce…
Chanel Farrell Phillips, the Jupiter woman who was missing since Saturday and was found with her car submerged in a Abacoa pond, died of drowning, the Palm Beach County Medical Examiner determined. The medical examiner also said that foul play is not suspected. Meanwhile, investigators are waiting on toxicology results,…
Some people believe that having the last word in an argument is how you determined who won. Others believe that whipping out your penis and shaking it at the person you’re arguing with is how you determine that. And by “others,” we mean John Solomayar of Fort Pierce, who was…
A petition to have a Jacksonville high school change its name from a KKK leader has apparently reached 90,000 signatures. Also, apparently we need petitions to not have schools named after KKK leaders. The mostly black school is named after Nathan Bedford Forrest, a lieutenant general in the Confederate Army…
Git yer huntin’ guns, boys! Hunting gators in Loxahatchee will soon be a thing. The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service announced that it’s expanding hunting at 26 national wildlife refuges, including Loxahatchee wildlife refuge. Despite an outpouring of emails and letters saying that gator hunting kind of goes against the…
This guy. Thoughtful Second Amendment proponent. An example of prudent race relations. Stellar husband. A Great American. Epic a-hole. After calling it splitsville with her husband, Shellie Zimmerman probably deserves to milk her 15 minutes for all it’s got. She was, in the end, the only Zimmerman to face legal…
Equality Florida has slammed Sen. Marco Rubio for recently blocking Judge William Thomas’ nomination to the Federal District Court for the Southern District of Florida. Thomas would have been the nation’s first openly gay black judge — which would be the trifecta of terrifying for Rubio & The GOPers. A…
It’s back! The New Times’ Miami Web Awards are here to pick the best of the web. Who’s the Funniest Twitterer? Who can lay claim to Meme of the Year or Best Viral Video? Can you choose just one Food Instagram User who has you salivating when you look at…
A Republican state senator from Lakeland, Sen. Kelli Stargel, and a Democratic state rep from here in Plantation, Katie Edwards, cosponsored legislation Wednesday that would try to keep sex offenders who are on probation from accessing pornography. Edwards says her bill was the result of a Sun Sentinel article about…
Hell in South Florida is a taupe, one-story house where rusted chains dangle from trees and the smell of feces and decay is so strong it lures rats at night. On even the brightest of days, sunlight doesn’t infiltrate its darkened chambers. And the baying of dogs — 34 pit…
As a prepubescent boy in the early ’90s, Horst Simco was enamored of South Florida resident Vanilla Ice. Like millions of other kids, Horst fell for the white Palm Beach County rapper’s slick dance moves and outrageous style — Evel Knievel-style jumpsuits; blow-dried, gravity-defying hair; slits cut into his eyebrows…
With all the hootin’ and hollerin’ about Obamacare, and the GOPers holding fillabustery things, and Rick Scott writing letters to Congress to make it all stop, there’s this: According to a thing called “reading,” Florida is at the top of the list in the U.S. in terms of the amount…
On Monday, New Times writer Allie Conti posted a blog item about PalmCon, a comic book convention in Palm Beach County. This post upset a lot of people from the comics/cosplay community. Let us provide a little background and a sincere mea culpa from the editors. Our blogs are a…
