It’s been a marquee week for boner pills. First, a University of Florida professor and colleagues published a study showing that Cialis, the blockbuster erectile dysfunction drug, can help treat Becker muscular dystrophy, a rare and debilitating disease that often cripples people by age 30 and for which there’s no…
Delray Beach Police were called when a man was seen running around his neighborhood, and throwing random things out of his house into his outside plants. Among the things the man threw at the outside plants: a ladder, a CO2 tank, and some credit cards. Also, the outside plants were…
As you may have heard, Allen West lost his election battle with Patrick Murphy, as well as math. But the fine folks at Stand Up Florida want to remind West not to lose his battle with common sense. On Saturday, local constituents will be putting up a lighted message at…
Hard to believe it’s been 25 years since a group of folks gathered in San Francisco to commemorate and remember loved ones who had passed away from AIDS. This small gathering gave birth to the AIDS Quilt, which eventually gave birth to World AIDS Day — officially observed every December…
One of the wonderful things about Obama’s winning reelection is watching the GOPers immerse themselves in doing what they do best: making loud noises and saying crazy shit that makes even certifiably crazy people say, “Whoa. Thassome crazy shit.” But amid the thicket of Benghazi ramblings and other frivolous stuff,…
It’s the blahs: postelection, in the limbo between the holidays. The nation’s not in totally awful shape, no rioting in the streets (though some think that would be an improvement). We’re enduring the social equivalent of what Freud described as the goal of psychotherapy: normal unhappiness.Dismal as the tinsel may…
The Dolphins and Patriots face off this Sunday at Sun Life Stadium for the first time this season. And even though New England is a heavy favorite, history has proven that this matchup can go in any direction. This isn’t the most heated rivalry in the AFC East (both teams…
City commissioners in Pembroke Pines clearly have too much time on their hands. This week, the city passed a resolution to warn residents about a potential link between cell phones and cancer and recommend that residents keep their mobile devices at least an inch from their bodies. Several news outlets jumped…
With tensions continuing to writhe in the Middle East as Israel and Palestine fall into an uneasy calm, a group of Zionist Jews in South Florida condemns both the cease fire between the neighbors as well as the United Nations’ decision yesterday to award Palestine the status of nonmember observer…
In the wake of President Barack Obama’s recent victory, the Federal Emergency Management Agency may soon open “concentration camps” — some of which are in South Florida — to detain anyone who disagrees with the government authority, Everett Wilkinson, chairman of South Florida’s Tea Party, told New Times Thursday. “There…
Florida Atlantic University is reporting that an armed intruder has been spotted on their Boca campus. Early reports say the intruder is in the Arts & Letters building. He is described is a black male, about five-foot-ten, with a muscular build. He is reportedly wearing white pants and a white shirt. Police…
Former Miami Dolphins wide receiver Brandon Marshall was asked about the latest rash of NFL player suspensions tied to amphetamines, including the ADHD drug Adderall. Marshall, who is now playing with the Chicago Bears, answered that he doesn’t know much about Adderall but that he’s heard of players taking boner…
A few weeks ago, we told you about a group of Floridans fed up with all that government interference (like roads and hospitals and police and stuff) and put together a petition on the White House’s website to allow the state to “peacefully” secede from the United States LEST OBAMA…
Michael Venditto, a Boca Raton cheerleading coach, was arrested Wednesday on charges of sexual battery and unlawful sexual activity involving two teenage girls, according to the Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Office. Venditto, 27, is charged with unlawful sexual activity with one of his 17-year-old cheerleaders, and also allegedly committed lewd…
Two people reportedly won the giant huge Powerball drawing was last night. AND NEITHER OF THOSE PEOPLE WERE YOU. And, even though this was a Florida lottery thing and Florida bought most of the tickets, nobody from Florida actually won. Because Jesus hates you, Florida. The winning tickets were apparently…
The good news: You can still get absolutely wasted at all your favorite Native American hangouts — and there’s nothing anyone can do to stop you. The bad news: All we had to do was sacrifice our society’s guiding sense of accountability. Earlier this week, the United States Supreme Court…
You probably know Cialis as that boner drug with the annoying commercial of a sex-deprived couple sitting in separate bathtubs gazing toward the horizon. The announcer says something about the dangers of erections lasting more than four hours and viewers get grossed out thinking about baby boomers with raging hard-ons. But this week,…
The busty clerk at Grateful J’s head shop in Boca Raton holds out a small brown vial. The label reads “Lucky,” and she promises the stuff packs a punch. “You’ll want to throw it to the back of your throat,” she suggests. “I’d say drink the whole thing. Maybe drink…
Rick Scott announced today that home and business security company ADT will be bringing 120 new jobs over the next two years to Boca Raton. Last month, Palm Beach County commissioners approved $184,000 in incentives to ADT. These new jobs will add to the nearly 700 ADT employees already based…
According to the Manatee County Sheriff’s Office, Esric Davis had himself the worst possible day imaginable when he couldn’t satisfy his lady sexually and then got the crap beat out of him by her. Raquel Gonzalez was arrested and charged with felony domestic battery and is being held in the…
A St. Petersburg man was arrested after he killed his roommate by stabbing him in the chest with a kitchen knife. The reason for the murder? A dispute over a missing corn dog. Corey Lamont Walker, 36, was arrested on a second-degree murder charge after he attacked Anthony Kimball Smith,…
Boca Raton millionaire Marty O’Boyle doesn’t like politicians scandalizing up his county, dag gummit. So he’s doing what any millionaire with loads of time on his hands would do to combat such a thing: He’s going to fly a big-ass blimp over Palm Beach County to shame elected officials when they…
