Veteran’s Day honored confessed torturer Allen West by seeing the courts closed, allowing the disgraced former officer and his attorneys a day off from further embarrassing themselves. The legal maneuvers they’ve employed in lawsuits against local elections officials to stave off defeat in last week’s congressional race are so ludicrous that…
Over the weekend, the New York Post’s Page Six reported that Marc Leder (yes, that Marc Leder, the one who threw the “47 percent” fundraiser for Mittington at his Boca pad) has fathered a secret love child. Now, this shouldn’t come as much of a surprise. For one, Leder absolutely…
We’ve got some high-brow competition. And we know him well. This month, 20,000 copies of Fort Lauderdale Magazine flooded local mailboxes while another 10,000 copies are working there way into doctors offices, law firms, and the buildings of other professionals fancy enough to have waiting rooms.The editorial brains behind the new publication: Eric…
Man, some people really, really can’t stand having a black dude for president. So, in light of Barack Obama resoundingly winning reelection by virtue of both the electoral college and the popular vote and in the process winning traditional GOP strongholds Ohio and Florida, some brave American heroes have decided…
Three Orlando men were none-too-thrilled that Barack Obama won reelection as Black President last week, so they decided to drink their sorrows away, then also go drive through a mostly black neighborhood stealing Obama campaign signs while yelling out racial slurs at people, according to the Florida Highway Patrol. Because,…
A Jacksonville pastor who confessed to sexual crimes against not one but two underaged girls and is a registered sex offender is still being allowed to preach at a church while children are banned from the congregation because Florida is as assed up as advertised. Former Shiloh Missionary Baptist Church…
The election was literally six days ago (well, OK, two days ago if you count Florida), and Florida Republicans are butthurt about the results. So the fine folks at Public Policy Polling thought it would be a neat idea to exploit that GOPer melancholy and the infinite sadness and ask…
There’s a black market for everything, even turtles. Last month, we told you about an extensive sting operation led by the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service that took down a local yokel who was illegally smuggling turtles to China. It turns out this wasn’t a one-off incident. Turtle smuggling is a big…
A partial recount of ballots from St. Lucie County happened on Sunday and — news flash — Allen West is still losing. The recount narrowed Patrick Murphy’s lead somewhat, but the tally still isn’t enough to trigger an official all-out recount. On Friday, West’s motion to impound the ballots and…
The 4-5 Tennessee Titans came into SunLife Stadium pretty much the worst defense, statistically. Until Sunday afternoon, they were on pace to set an NFL record for most points allowed in a single season. Yet the Dolphins could manage only three points against them while turning the ball over four…
Jon Stewart talks about this sort of nonsense a lot. Every election, he gets asked who he wants to win based not on his own political leanings but on comedy. Who will provide the best fodder for the meat grinder? Invariably, Stewart says something along the lines that it’s not…
Not being on good terms with the concept of the rule of law, cashiered ex-Colonel (and soon to be ex-U.S. Rep.) Allen West went to court today to ask for judicial action — though it was really extrajudicial action he wanted. That’s a concept the disgraced former officer knows well.West’s…
The Dolphins are back home this Sunday to take on the Tennessee Titans at Sun Life Stadium. This is a good thing because, as it stands, the Dolphins are a pretty mediocre football team while the Titans are quite crappy. But can Miami overcome its recent bout of The Suck…
The Allen West schadenfreude continues on the Pulp today! Palm Beach County Circuit Court Judge David Crow has denied U.S. Rep. Allen West’s motion to impound ballots and voting machines from his loss to Patrick Murphy in the District 18 congressional race. Crow ruled that West’s motion was “premature” because…
To say the web bridges worlds together seamlessly through invisible streams of data would be a gross understatement. In any case, New Times is well aware of the importance of the web, and we’re celebrating with our first South Florida Web Awards. We’ve scoured the internet in search of the…
Allen West is in court today to file a motion to have the St. Luice County ballots and voting machines impounded for a possible recount. Patrick Murphy leads West by about 0.66 percent, which is too big a lead to constitute an automatic recount. Under Florida law, you need a 0.5 percent…
Pill-poppin’ conservative blowfish blowhard Rush Limbaugh, like all the other GOPers in the past few days, is seriously butthurt over Barack Obama’s resounding reelection this past Tuesday. In rummaging through the Conservetard devastation handed to them (they couldn’t win Ohio or Florida… nut-jab!), Rush basically came to the conclusion that…
Anthony V. Mangione, head of Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) for South Florida, faces a mandatory five years in prison for child pornography. Prosecutors are shooting for up to seven years. In 2011, Mangione was placed on paid administrative leave after his internet provider, AOL, reported his having four child-porn…
Conservative radio talk-show host Joyce Kaufman, who was appointed to be Republican Congressman Allen West’s chief of staff back in 2008 because, well, she’s just as batshit nutty as he is, lamented West’s loss to Patrick Murphy on her radio show on WFTL-AM (850) on Wednesday. Kaufman blamed the defeat…
Allen West isn’t giving up without a fight. Even though the incumbent Commie hunter lost by 0.8 percent to Patrick Murphy, he’s demanding a recount. A West Palm Beach court is slated to hear West’s case for an injunction today at noon. But his energy will surely be better spent polishing…
If Crystal Lakes Middle School doesn’t cough up some details soon about why its security specialist, who appears to beat up a female student in the video below, hasn’t been disciplined — or thoroughly investigated — for the altercation, the girl’s father, Robert Donald, will take this thing to court…
As we said yesterday, it was pretty impossible for Mitt Romney to catch up to Obama here in Florida, even as close as the tally was. And, apparently, the Mittbot and his campaign agree and have officially conceded Florida. Florida’s 29 electoral votes gives Obama a 332 to 206 lead…
