New Times‘ Looney Guide to Tuesday’s Election

Whether you are a nasty woman or a bad hombre, this election cycle has been some kind of joke. And soon the electorate will deliver its punch line. “GOP, you’re fired!” Though the boundless bizarre badinage of the presidential race is getting more attention than your 13-year-old cousin on Instagram,…

Tegu Lizards Are Taking Over the Everglades

With his trusty German shepherd in tow, Rodney Irwin drives past a state mental hospital at the edge of the Everglades and pulls into the brush. A machete rests on the floorboard beneath his feet, and a gallon of his favorite drink — Walmart-brand black-cherry soda mixed with orange Gatorade…

Heroin Overdoses Are Good Advertising for Drug Dealers

October has been the deadliest month for drug overdoses in Delray Beach. As of October 19, the city’s police force reported 38 overdoses, nine of them deadly. Though cops, firefighters, and experts continue to warn about the dangers of mixing heroin with fentanyl and carfentanil, it seems…

Drug Testing for Christmas

Dear Stoner: The holidays are coming up, and I’m thinking about getting a seasonal job for extra income. Something with low responsibility, like retail or working with Christmas trees. I enjoy cannabis recreationally. Do you have any advice on how to surreptitiously find places of employment that do not conduct…

Revamped Miami Heat Heads Into Tonight’s Home Opener Feeling Good

It may have been just one regular season game in October against the putrid Orlando Magic, but the Miami Heat’s 108-96 win in Wednesday’s season opener has both Heat fans and the team itself feeling pretty damn good about themselves. The 2016-17 season promises to be like no other Heat campaign…

Florida Voters Lose Marco Rubio-Patrick Murphy Debate

If you missed last night’s Senate debate between Marco Rubio and Patrick Murphy because you were watching the World Series, carving Donald Trump’s face onto a pumpkin, or walking your dog, congratulations, you made the right decision. Murphy attacked Rubio for supporting Donald Trump, Rubio attacked Murphy for being a…

Ten-Year-Old’s Halloween Prank Frightens Delray Beach Neighborhood

When Jill Hyman Gallo pulled up to her Delray Beach townhouse Saturday afternoon, a tiny person in a black hoodie with a creepy mask was waiting eerily beside her driver’s side window. Gallo’s teenage daughter seated beside her initially laughed. The single mother of two shrieked in terror. The disturbing figure…

IV Therapy: Scam or Panacea?

When Harvey Daniels, trim and broad-shouldered in a V-neck tee, walks into the one-room office with views of Biscayne Bay, the IV bag is already waiting for him. Its liquid a shade of amber, the bag dangles from a chain hooked to the ceiling. Dr. Ivan Rusilko stands from behind…

West Palm Beach Moves to Ban Anti-Gay Conversion Therapy

At tonight’s commission meeting, the City of West Palm Beach is planning to ban “conversion therapy” on minors. It’s a cruel practice that essentially stigmatizes homosexual attraction as a mental illness. Similar bans have recently passed in Miami Beach, Miami, and Wilton Manors.  Conversion therapy is predominantly regarded as a…

BSO Crime Lab’s New Software May Not Hold Up in Court

Ever since a whistleblower pointed out that there might be some serious flaws in the DNA analysis performed by the Broward Sheriff’s Office, the crime lab has been in a tailspin. Its leaders are fighting to maintain accreditation and the Broward state attorney’s office has been forced to re-open as many…