Famous Festivus Pole Is for Sale on eBay

Everyone knows that early January is the time to get the best prices on holiday decorations for the coming year. See also: “Festivus Pole” Made of Beer Cans Approved; Will Go Up in Florida Capitol Next to Jesus’ Manger The economic principles that apply to fake Christmas trees also apply…

BCS Prediction: Rick Scott Says FSU Will Beat Auburn

While Rick Scott has been taking his sweet-ass time in choosing a lieutenant governor, he sure has been quick to get all up about tonight’s BCS Championship game between the Florida State Seminoles and Auburn Tigers. Scott has managed to make the requisite arbitrary bet between government officials whenever two…

Sixteen Arrested at Rose Parade for Protesting SeaWorld Float

Sixteen PETA protesters were arrested at the Rose Parade on Wednesday, a majority of them for trying to stop the SeaWorld-themed float. Riot police escorted the float as it made its way through the parade, passing multiple planned protest spots along the route. PETA protests took to the street in…

Rick Scott’s Internal Polls Have Him Losing to Everybody

Rick Scott’s pollster, Tony Fabrizio, has some bad news for Rick Scott. According to the poll, either Charlie Crist or Bill Nelson would beat Scott in a mano-to-mano general election hoedown. The poll also shows that ex-GOPer/ex-Independent/Brand New Democrat Crist is suddenly a lot more governory than long-time Democrat Nelson…

Rick Scott Wants To Cut Driver License And Registration Fees

Gov. Rick Scott is hungry for more souls to eat four more years, so he’s announced that he wants to cut $401 million in driver license and registration fees. In an appearance in Tampa, Scott whipped out a proposal that will apparently cut auto registration fees that would save motorists…

Rick Scott Makes Reelection Bid Official

It’s no secret Rick Scott was all ready to get to work on our faces for another four years, but now it’s officially official. On Tuesday, Scott filed all his “I Wanna Be Govner of Florida Again” paperwork to the state Division of Elections, making his bid for reelection a…

Heart Cancels SeaWorld Concert

It looks like Heart is the latest act to drop out of SeaWorld’s Bands, Brew & Barbecue music fest as a protest for the way the park allegedly treats orcas. The Barenaked Ladies was the first band to cancel on SeaWorld; then came Willie Nelson. Now, Heart is in on…

Marco Rubio Doubles Down on Dumb Pandering and Hypocrisy

Last year, Marco Rubio gave an interview in which he famously told a GQ reporter that there was no way he could know how old the Earth is because he’s no scientist, man. (Hint: It’s 4.5 billion years old.) (Also, holy crap, it’s already been a year??) But last week,…

Willie Nelson Cancels SeaWorld Concert

First, the Barenaked Ladies, now the pigtailed man. About a week ago, the Barenaked Ladies cancelled their scheduled show at SeaWorld in order to protest the treatment of orcas in captivity. Willie Nelson has also cancelled a show at the theme park. A spokesperson at SeaWorld told New Times that…

Festivus Pole to Be Erected Next to Manger in Florida Capitol?

Yesterday, a private group called the Florida Nativity Scene Committee was installing a manger display in the Capitol in Tallahassee. The Miami Herald reported that another group, Reclaim Christ for Christmas, intends to add the Three Wise Men. The ACLU warned that by allowing private groups to set up religious…

“Jive Turkey Game Show” on Fort Lauderdale Beach

As you can see in the video below, rapper “Laguardia Cross,” AKA “Turkey Black,” hit Fort Lauderdale Beach for Thanksgiving week to raise awareness for the low-wage working conditions faced by airport workers, who are paid less than minimum wage. He is with a group called the Airport Workers Organizing…

Rick Scott’s Voter Suppression Now Targeting Absentee Ballots

Man, Rick Scott loves to screw with voters. It’s like a hobby of his (aside from screwing the poor and screwing the environment and screwing the state, in general). First he shortened early voting days, then tried to go after minority voters via an arbitrary and contrived “voter fraud” crusade…

Charlie Crist Defends Obamacare and Isn’t Worried About the Polls

At a time when Rick Scott’s cronies are raising gazillions of dollars for attack ads and other reelection goodies, Charlie Crist is out there defending Obamacare. Ballsy! At a campaign rally in Hillsborough County over the weekend, Crist went all-in in his support for Obamacare, telling the crowd that it’s…

John F. Kennedy: 12 Long-Lost Images of JFK and Jackie

Herbert Breuer was born in Vienna Neustadt, Austria, in March 1924. When Hitler came to power, his father was taken to a concentration camp but released; the man and his sons fled to the U.S. in 1940, when Herb was 16. In 1942 at age 18, Breuer joined the U.S…