Hey Barack: Smoke ‘Em If You Got ‘Em

No to be contrary, but I’m not remotely bothered by the fact that the incoming president is a smoker. Or at least I’m not as concerned as Palm Beach Post columnist Rhonda Swan who today demanded that Obama “Quit Smoking, Period.”This habit makes him human. The man who directed the…

Hollywood City Hall Needs (But Does Not Want) Your Prayers

Asa Boynton has a flair for the dramatic. You sorta have to when you’re in the singing telegram biz. But Boynton — that’s him above, as the Hairy Fairy, a favorite character — can’t resist applying his performance art in the political realm. He’s one of Hollywood’s fiercest rabble rousers,…

Mayor Manny Busts Obama With Scatological Humor

Miami Mayor Manny Diaz is the president of some mayor’s only fraternity and like everyone else this holiday season, he has a wish list he’s sending to Barack Hussein Santa Claus Obama.When it comes to Broward, Manny’s got shit on his mind. Specifically, the “treated” sewage that Hollywood is currently…

Everybody With the Wish Lists. You Will Get Coal and Like It!

Are you as excited about the Fort Lauderdale City Commission election as I am? I thought so. Are you as excited as ex-commissioner Tim Smith? Fat chance.For the uninitiated, Smith’s blog has a Pavlovian response to impolitic remarks by Mayor Jim Naugle, which keeps him plenty busy. For the longest…

How Much Justice Was Sold in Fort Lauderdale Last Week ?

We may never know. But eventually, maybe our friends who live in the western half of the United States will learn. Exactly 24 of their attorneys general partied up at the Ritz Carlton (formerly the St. Regis) on Fort Lauderdale Beach, flocking for a conference strewn with corporate sponsors.The organizer,…

Now That’s What I Call Malfeasance!

Every now and then, a news story will come along and remind us that South Florida did not invent the phenomenon of public corruption. In Chicago they’ve been doing it longer and better than anyone else. Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich is the latest example for his breathtakingly audacious scheme to…

Nation Lampoons European Vacation

Oh Jesus Charles J. Crist! The governor’s in hot water over his European vacation trade mission this past July. Apparently, Crist and his entourage ran up a tab of just under a half-mill, part of which was spent on nine “bodyguards.” Yes, that’s what they’re calling them now. Above, Crist…

Abbott and Costello News Summary of Palm Beach Republican Snafus

Sid Dinerstein (pictured right), is the head man for the Palm Beach County Republican Party. The party has a history here in the South of disenfranchising blacks. Now one Black is accusing Dinerstein of doing exactly that, after this Black won election to the county’s Republican executive committee. The twist…

Delray’s State Senator Will Bring Iran to Its Knees

Mahmad Ahmadinejad had a plan for world domination — and he woulda got away with it, too, if it weren’t that meddling state senator from Delray Beach, Ted Deutch.You see, while reading the Wall Street Journal, Deutch learned of efforts by a Swiss oil company, Vitol, to build a $125…

Dark Horse Dem Emerges in Race for Martinez Seat

On the Democrat side of the Florida’s 2010 U.S. Senate race, the field keeps getting larger, with Congressman Allen Boyd, of Monticello, looking like a contender. Boyd (right) runs with the congressional Blue Dogs — socially conservative Democrats who walk and talk so much like Republicans, it can be hard…

Is Republican Cannibalism Afoot in Florida?

Being a trafficker in rank speculation and flimsy rumors, I can’t help but admire the science-based speculation and rumor creation available on FiveThirtyEight.com, which I checked approximately 642 times daily in October. The captain of this vessel is Nate Silver, who crunches poll numbers in a way that unlocks the…

Well, Someone Has To Be the Junior Senator from Florida

Senator Mel Martinez is sick of his job and he’s not hanging around after 2010. So what Republican will run in his place?Outgoing Fort Lauderdale Mayor Jim Naugle doesn’t want the job. Someone must stay in Fort Lauderdale to keep a wary eye on South Florida gays. Jeb Bush is…

Wedding Crashers II: When Gays Attack

For all this talk of who’s invited to Gov. Charlie Crist’s wedding, has anyone remembered the fire hoses and German shepherds? They tend to occupy the front lines of Republican efforts to quash civil rights, and perhaps they’ll make the guest list now that regional gays have announced they’re crashing…

Render Unto Deutsch the Things Which Are Ceasar’s

“As a child I wanted to be Superman,” wrote Mitch Ceasar, in a column for the Huffington Post website last February. “But without a cape and alas special powers,” he admits he settled for Broward County Democratic Chair.Ceasar also wanted to be a comedian, as he told NBC 6’s morning…

Mayor Mara: American Hero

Well, Hollywood Mayor Mara Giulianti is at it again, proving that she’s a superior American and that those who oppose her are little more than small, rather disgusting, burrowing rodentia. It started with a complaining e-mail from Angela Jackson, an activist who was arrested a while back in Hollywood during…

Somebody Listened

Here’s to Ray McKinney. Who is Ray? He’s just a retired fellow in Fort Lauderdale who doesn’t like corruption. He called me after I wrote stories about Southwest Ranches last year and said he was going to do something about it. Based on the stuff I’d dug up, he filed…

Mayor Mara Answers Her Critics

Our Leader Below is an e-mail from Hollywood Mayor Mara Giulanti responding to her many critics. The mayor was adding her voice to a series of e-mails that began about the Mach eminent domain victory over the city. She was responding, as best as I could tell, to an e-mail…

Good Jim Good

— Good Jim reared his head in the Miami Herald today. Todd Wright quotes Mayor Jim Naugle: “I think the ugliest side of local politics are the developers and vendors give thousands of dollars to candidates. For that money they get access. If you got a major contributor, you are…

Toppling the Tower of Babble

There’s been a lot of controversy lately regarding the New Times’ takeover of the Village Voice and the resulting carnage at the legendary weekly in New York. Blood has been spilled, great reporters have left or been fired, a lot of people are concerned. I don’t pretend to understand what’s…

And The Winner Is …

At left is Satterlee A reader has correctly answered the burning question: Who is the third wheel in that weird Alan Koslow/Mara Giulianti photograph? The answer: Joy Satterlee, director of the Art and Culture Center of Hollywood. The winner: Asa Boynton, the famed Hairy Fairy and neighborhood crime fighter. He…

A New Low For Hollywood

Koslow (center) and Mara (Right) This photograph, which I acquired a while back, speaks volumes about Hollywood. In the center there is Hollywood lobbyist Alan Koslow. He represents just about every developer in Hollywood while his law firm, Becker and Poliakoff, also has a contract to lobby for the city…