Fabulous news, everyone. All-around nice guy Rush Limbaugh has found a new way of disseminating the cheery and good-natured messages he conceives every day from Palm Beach. Limbaugh, whose radio show became one of the most popular in the country through a ceaseless commitment to intellectual honesty and civil discourse, is now on Twitter.
Seriously though, he's on there, and yesterday more than 100,000 followers flocked to the site of his sneering, self-satisfied visage and hit that little "follow" button to make sure they didn't miss a word of his bilious output.
Maybe he's just post links to articles and challenge conventional narratives and those things that he does that aren't so terrible -- that's what his first two tweets are.
Or maybe he'll use it like he uses his show, twisting actual debates into unrecognizable caricatures, then attacking the caricature like he's the only one who sees the truth. Like when 30-year-old law student Sandra Fluke wanted to testify at a congressional hearing about mandated insurance coverage of birth control pills. The argument could have been "can employers use their religion to dictate the medical care of their employees?" Limbaugh's argument, instead, can be distilled into "Sandra Fluke is a whore."
But don't try getting mad at him over it -- anger is validation. Liberals don't get angry about people being idiots on nationally syndicated radio -- they only get mad when they're called out on their big Marxist plots. Where there's a frustrated Democrat, you can be sure somewhere close by is a sinister plot that Rush uncovered, and if you say otherwise, well, then, you must be a Democrat.
In case you've somehow missed this whole controversy, here are Rush's five most egregious statements on the incident:
1. "She's having so much sex, it's amazing she can still walk." (source)
2. "Who bought your condoms in sixth grade?" (source)
3. "What does it say about the college co-ed Susan Fluke, who goes before a congressional committee and essentially says that she must be paid to have sex, what does that make her? It makes her a slut, right? It makes her a prostitute. She wants to be paid to have sex. She's having so much sex she can't afford the contraception." (source)
4. "A woman who is happily presenting herself as an immoral, baseless, no-purpose-to-her life woman. She wants all the sex in the world whenever she wants it, all the time, no consequences. No responsibility for her behavior." (source)
5. "So Miss Fluke, and the rest of you feminazis, here's the deal. If we are going to pay for your contraceptives -- and thus pay for you to have sex -- we want something for it. We want you post the videos online so we can all watch." (source)
Great. Sign me up for THAT Twitter feed.
