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Marco Rubio Sets Himself Up for 2016 in Iowa

With Mitt Romney off blaming his election loss on Obama's gifts to everyone (by the way, we're still waiting on our GIFT, Mr. President!), the GOPers are scrambling around trying to convince everyone that they totally like 47 percent of America now and that health care ain't so bad. Also,...
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With Mitt Romney off blaming his election loss on Obama's gifts to everyone (by the way, we're still waiting on our GIFT, Mr. President!), the GOPers are scrambling around trying to convince everyone that they totally like 47 percent of America now and that health care ain't so bad.

Also, they're starting to be a little more lenient about their stance on illegal immigrants because, the Latino vote and stuff.

So as they look to 2016 (it's almost here, you guys!), talk turns, once again, to our very own Charisma Boy! Marco Rubio.

See also: Marco Rubio Won the 2012 Election, Apparently

Rubio has been all over Iowa lately, which is a thing you do when you have presidential aspirations.

"We need to do a better job of going out and convincing our fellow Americans who perhaps don't see things the way we do," Rubio said at a rousing speech there that GOPers are calling "presidential."

Charisma Boy! gonna Charisma!

Rubio has insisted that the speech was nothing and that it wasn't at all about launching himself into the 2016 conversation, so please knock it off.

But, as other GOPers have been quick to shake their fists at Romney's "gifts" comments, Rubes has been all, Hey it's cool, baby.

Before his speech, Rubio was asked if the Mittbot's me duele comments hurt the Republican Party in any way. Rubio was all, "phttsss... please."

"Obviously he's coming off his election, he was talking to his donors, but you know, I think we're all gonna move on and we're gonna move forward, and I hope Mitt will stay involved in politics. I thought he was a great candidate, would have made a great president, and I hope he stays involved in our party."

That sounds about right.

Romney's "gifts" comments didn't hurt the GOPers. Their racism, lack of empathy for the poor and sick, and their views on vaginas did that.

Still, you can't help but think Marco is currying favor with Romney's donors. Obviously, they agree with Willard. Poor people getting free shit from Obama doesn't roll with Mitt's donors. And Rubes knows that. He also knows their pockets are deep.

Rubio has also been calling for a softer stance on immigration -- something his fellow GOPZ think is no bueno but something they're going to have to cave to because Latinos came out in droves for Obama in 2012.

Of course, Rubio is still a GOPer, which means Republican Talking Points Ahoy!

"The way to turn our economy around is not by making rich people poorer; it's by making poor people richer," he said in his Iowa speech. "Look at this fiscal cliff. I don't know if any of you have heard about this. You know who created that? Congress."

ERR MERR GHERRR TAXES ERR EVILZ!

Rubio can deflect the Iowa-Means-2016 talk all he wants. But he knows what he's doing. False modesty is one of Charisma Boy!'s superpowers.

"[I'm surprised] people so far from Florida even care what I have to say," he said to the Iowa crowd. who lapped it all up with a gleam in their eye.

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