God bless our local TV newscasters. They hustle day in and day out to bring you all the locally relevant information that you need to know. They tell you what the weather is going to be, where the latest car-jacking took place, and how much the watermelon that won the biggest fruit award at the county fair weighed.
But in between these journalistic moments there are inevitably gaffes, and, like NASCAR crashes, they are always the most entertaining part. Here are some of the best Florida news bloopers we could find.
Did you mean Philip Seymour Hoffman?
No better way to honor one of the greatest actors of his generation than by calling him male ejaculate on live television.
Gotta love the approving nod from the female anchor.
Ah, yes, Philmore Seamen Hoffman. I love his work.
Put that on the news!
This poor man. He's just trying to report the news, and the out of nowhere drunk Aunt Betty comes out swinging. I guess the good news is, when you get smacked in the dome with a purse on the job, your career can only go up.
Tonight at 6, my head hurts and no one respects me. We'll keep you updated as this sad, sad story develops.
Broward pussy.
I see what you did there. Well crafted. Beautifully executed. Delivered with a serious facial expression, bordering on manic.
I give it a 9.7.
Old-school yo momma jokes.
OH SHIT! DON'T FUCK WITH ROBERT GILMARTIN!
Yo momma so fat, she ain't breaking news, she breaking shoes!
Yo momma so fat, she got her own personal Doppler radar!
Yo momma so fat, she hear the morning traffic report and be like, "Jam?"
The Hank Tester shuffle.
Little-known fact: Hank Tester emits a pheromone that makes people want to get funky.
It's why he's not allowed to cover funerals anymore.
Incarcerated hamster.
This clip didn't originate in Florida, but it does talk about Florida. And it's just too good to pass up.
I know we should wait until all the facts come out and let our justice system do its job, but -- come on -- the only thing that hamster is guilty of is being adorable.
Go fuck yourself, Miami.
That's actually considered a polite way to say farewell in Miami.
In her defense, it's very hot. Sometimes you just gotta say "fuck it" and get outta this joint.
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