Because... why not?
Meh musical act Country music star Trace Adkins, a big fridge of a guy who always wears black T-shirt's and sings like a zombie, was supposed to be kicking back on a music cruise this week outside of Miami. Instead, he got into a brawl with himself, or at least a Trace Adkins impersonator... which we're pretty sure is the plot of a J.G. Ballard story.
The seven-day spin around the Caribbean included other musical acts like Montgomery Gentry and Wynonna. The schedule included stops in Jamaica, Grand Cayman, and Cozumel. People, reportedly, actually pay money, like real money, to go on cruises with terrible country acts, for some reason.
Anyway, Adkins' trip didn't last very long. According to TMZ, on Monday night, the country music bro was boozing in the ship's bar. Adkins has struggled with substance abuse before and until recently was 12 years sober. Apparently, he'd fallen off the wagon and was drinking again Monday.
Also in attendance was a Trace Adkins impersonator. The faux Trace was singing karaoke.
Maybe the real deal didn't approve of his song selection.
Maybe he literalized his battle with inner demons.
Maybe he was just confused. But the real Trace brawled with the fake Trace. Below is a clip of when the two had met earlier. No one has released the impersonator's name or reported if he had any injuries.
The next day, Real Trace (or was it?) jumped off the boat in Jamaica and promptly entered rehab, giving Fake Trace (???) an opportunity rock that damned karaoke any way he wants to for the rest of the cruise.
Send your story tips to the author, Kyle Swenson.