Last week, Sports Illustrated inexplicably named Peyton Manning Sportsman of the Year. But, on Thursday, the Associated Press was able to return order to the known universe and named LeBron James its Male Athlete of the Year.
LeBron got 31 of 96 votes cast in a poll of news organizations, beating out Peyton, who got 20 votes. Suck on THAT, Goose Neck!
The award comes after LeBron spent all of 2013 pulverizing opponents, leading the Heat to a second-consecutive NBA title, and winning a fourth league MVP.
"I don't think I've changed much this year," James told the AP. "I've just improved and continued to improve on being more than just as a basketball player. I've matured as a leader, as a father, as a husband, as a friend."
Lebron joins other sports icons, such as Joe Louis, Jesse Owens, Muhammad Ali, and Carl Lewis among those who have won the award.
And he knows and understands that he's more than a basketball freight train of devastation, obliterating rims with earth-shattering dunks, and laying waste opponents and doubters with his basketball prowess.
"I'm chasing something and it's bigger than me as a basketball player," James told the AP. "I believe my calling is much higher than being a basketball player. I can inspire people. Youth is huge to me. If I can get kids to look at me as a role model, as a leader, a superhero ... those things mean so much, and that's what I think I was built for. I was put here for this lovely game of basketball, but I don't think this is the biggest role that I'm going to have."
LeBron is only the third basketball player to earn the AP honor in its 82-year history, joining Michael Jordan and Larry Bird.
Although he still remains the only player to be named for a type of heroin.
In 2013, James finished off what is perhaps one of the finest seasons ever turned in by an NBA player.
He dented league ass by averaging 26.8 points, 8 rebounds, 7.3 assists, and 1.7 steals this season.
LeBron also displayed face-melting, universe-imploding efficiency, shooting .565 from the field and .406 from three-point range. He ranked in the top ten in scoring, assists, steals, and field goal percentage and ranked number one in totally shoving his foot into the rectum of every other team in the NBA.
LeBron was named NBA Eastern Conference Player of the week so many times, people started calling it the LeBron Award.
He led the Heat to its best season ever with a 66-16 record and led the team on its world-altering 27-game winning streak, the second longest in NBA history.
He then led them to another NBA Finals Finals victory, scoring 37 points in Game 7, including a nail-in-the-coffin jump shot with 27.9 seconds remaining.
And on Christmas Day, he did this:
Oh, the humanity.