Chris, the most blandly handsome Republican since Dan Quayle, falls for Marisa not because of who she is deep down but for her surface -- because she looks just like J.Lo. Fiennes (or, perhaps, R.Fi?) is smitten before she says a word, because he sees her in purloined designer threads and mistakes her for a guest in the hotel, not the maid who was sent to make the bed. Before he knows a single thing about her, they're walking in Central Park, making meaningless small talk, and falling in love (and into bed, under the most disquieting and duplicitous of circumstances) because that's just the way things happen in movies like this.
When the truth is revealed, when Chris discovers Marisa is but a lowly servant, he will fret and stare into space, but never do we doubt that their happy ending is in jeopardy. After all, theirs is the most prefabricated of Cupids -- Marisa's 10-year-old son, Ty (Tyler Garcia Posey), an aspiring Young Republican with a Nixon fetish -- and Marisa is surrounded by a cheering gang of multiculti maids who prod her on to a better life, be it as housekeeping manager or wife of a would-be senator. She's so damned wonderful that even when her reckless and selfish behavior jeopardizes the job of the hotel's head butler (played by a tragically wasted Bob Hoskins, bringing quiet dignity to a film that deserves none), he forgives and supports her. They all dream of a better life, Marisa just gets to live it.
Director Wayne Wang once manufactured gauzy art-house movies aimed at the cineplex crowd (The Joy Luck Club) till he finally gave in and gave up (Anywhere but Here). With screenwriter Kevin Wade (responsible for Meet Joe Black, in which Brad Pitt played Death and we prayed for it), he likely imagined Maid as Cinderella with a social conscience, their heroine as a Puerto Rican poster girl for empowerment. But the soapy froth they've concocted washes away any hint of grit; the movie reeks of Chanel and Cheer, just as their Manhattan sparkles in a way even Woody Allen would find too blinding. When the filmmakers try to peer behind the doors separating the swank hotel's staff from its precious guests, they find not a Gosford Park but a sitcom populated by lovable archetypes who dream of moving up by marrying up. Then there is no room for commentary of any kind, caustic or satiric, in a movie inhabited by millionaires dreaming of marrying other millionaires, all of them bankrupt in their own dreary way.