Audio By Carbonatix
The first credit to roll for Sorority Row, director Stewart Hendler’s highly unnecessary remake of a 1983 slasher, is for a character known as the “bra-clad sister.” A few entries down are “slutty sister,” “ditzy sister,” and “sarcastic sister.” I’m not sure you need to know much more than that. But here goes anyway.
Somewhere among these luminaries is a group of sorority seniors whose idea of a revenge prank is convincing a young man that he has killed his girlfriend with an ill-timed roofie. The vaguely sensible one among them (played by Briana Evigan) protests the group’s plan to cover up the death of their fellow sister when the prank tanks. She then takes the lead when a graduation gown–wearing maniac begins killing off everyone associated with the death.
A very thin feminist subtext about the meaning of sisterhood only highlights how badly this film botches its attempt to have it both ways: naked, bleeding cuties combined with “final girl”–ish, butt-whipping empowerment.
Call me the sarcastic sister, but the only things screaming in any convincing way here are the cheap look, epileptic direction, and off-key, “edgy” humor. It’s all so ’80s I could die.
